How to break up with lesser emotional damage
It is not easy to let go of someone you ever loved. Going through a breakup is always a hard, painful and long process. It is important to know that when you leave someone, it is as hard for you as it is for them. People mostly consider the person who breaks up with them as insensitive monsters. What they do not know is that it is harder for a person to be on the giving end rather than the receiving end.
1. When do you know it’s over?
Imagine being in a relationship where things are falling apart and you do not have a reason to be with that person anymore. You do not feel like seeing the person or hanging out with them. There is no way that you two could go back to being what you were when it all started. At that point, instead of making you and your partner go through pain and suffering, just end things in a good, kind way.
2. How should you end things?
The best way to end a relationship is to be smooth about it. Do not let the person hang on to false hopes and delayed responses. If you have decided to do it, you should have the guts to be direct about it. Ignoring the person or making them hate you so that they decide to leave you is selfish and inhumane to their feelings.
Be polite and direct, explain the reasons for your decision and give them a chance to absorb it all. Lastly, make them show how hard it is for you too because after all, you are human too and you were not born without feelings.
3. Is it beneficial?
Ending a relationship to free both of you from responsibilities and duties you do not want to be a part of anymore, is liberating. You get to have time for your own self and can meet up with people you’ve missed while you were dating.
You can do all the stuff that you like and which your partner never approved of. You are mentally free and can be truly loyal to yourself. It also gives you time to think things through and formulate a way to organise yourself and get back on track.
4. Is it selfish?
People do not break up just because they do not like someone or find someone attractive anymore. There are reasons such as not having a prospect of a future where you will be together or having a partner who manipulates you and damages you emotionally. It is not always selfish, sometimes breaking up with someone is in their best interests.
You leave someone because you think that you are not good enough for them. So you ignore your own happiness and needs and set them free to find their match. Of course, in most of the cases, it is obvious that two people split when they do not like each other anymore but there is always more to that story which cannot be seen.
5. How to move on?
As hard as it is to breakup with someone, the next step is more challenging. Getting over a relationship is harder than ending it. Your lifestyle changes, your priorities change. Your routine is affected and it takes time to realise that you are now single and live like that. Most of the times, people stop seeing their family and friends after breaking up but it is not advised to do this as it only increases the chances of getting anxiety and falling into depression.
It is better to meet up with friends, make plans and take trips out of the city, clubbing and having get-togethers with family. There is nothing that can fill the hollowness caused by the loss of a loved one, but after taking a decision you need to act on it and survive.
6. How long till you date someone new?
The next important question that arises here is ‘should you or should you not date someone else after you break up with your partner?’. The time span is also a significant factor here as you do not want to rush into things right after you are done with one relationship. It is advisable that you give yourself at least 2-3 months before you start dating someone else.
It would be a whole different opinion if you left your old partner because you liked someone else and want to be with them. Just make sure that you do not rush into things when you still have mixed feelings about your ex and the whole breakup phase.
7. Should you contact your ex out of sympathy?
Never call your ex and say that you sympathise with them over the breakup. You left them, you ended everything and you had your reasons. Give them time and strength to get back on their feet on their own and contacting them during the ‘moving on’ phase will only throw them back in the pit.
In some cases, people realise that they were hasty in making such a big decision and they want to get back together. In that case, it all depends on how you broke up. Getting back with someone you left in such a way that you never get to see them again is not a good idea. Rebound relationships do not always work and the couple ends up being more confused than ever.
8. In the end, you do what the heart wants
Never leave someone just because you feel like doing it and if you do, then do not get back together as it is just hurtful for the other person. Remember that you both are human and humans are sensitive. If you cannot find happiness in a person, find it in a hobby, a talent or work. Learn to be contented.
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So do you think these things can be effective enough to have a good break up with lesser emotional damage and pain? How hard was your recent breakup for you? Let me know in the comments below!