Detachment in a relationship isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can do wonders for your sense of self in the context of your relationship.
When you detach yourself from someone, it doesn’t mean that you close yourself off to this person. Being detached doesn’t automatically entail that you are making yourself emotionally unavailable to someone. It only means that you love this person without necessarily idealizing them to be a certain way. It means that you love someone without expecting anything in return.
When you love someone without attaching yourself to them, then you are freely giving and receiving love out of volition and not duty. And that’s a beautiful kind of love; one that is born out of desire, not a necessity. On top of that, detachment is going to be very important when you’re dealing with a breakup. You might still love a person, but you will have minimal trouble in trying to let them go.
As the famous poet, Khalil Gibran says, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”
That’s always a nice piece of advice to keep in mind as you’re trying to make your way in this world. It’s always important to just take a step back every once in a while and allow love to flow through the spaces between you and your lover. Detachment doesn’t always have to be a bad thing that is to be feared or discouraged.
There is always a tendency for two lovers to become overly involved in each other’s lives whenever they get really deep into their relationship with one another. And that over-involvement might indicate a level of attachment that is excessive and downright unhealthy for a toxic relationship. It can even be borderline toxic.
A lot of the time, excessive attachment in a relationship can produce feelings of jealousy, anxiety, anger, resentment, agitation, irritation, and even depression.
When you are able to establish a sense of detachment in spite of your love for one another, then you are able to establish space between the two of you that will allow you to breathe easily. Detachment can help relieve the two of you of any unnecessary stress and pressure that you bring onto yourselves.
A lot of the tips that will be listed on here actually revolve around someone detaching from an ex, but these tips can also be applied to someone you are in a current friendship or relationship with.
Here are a few ways in which you can detach yourself from someone you might truly care about.
1. Focus on healing your wounds and brokenness.
Sometimes, you can become totally invested in a person when you decide to take on all of their problems and their woes. That’s why if you really want to detach from someone, it might be best to just focus on all the broken parts of your own life.
2. Give yourselves space to breathe.
You must also make it a point to just give you and your partner some space to breathe. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic. You can emotionally detach yourself bit by bit until you’ve lost all sense of attachment completely and only the love remains. You just have to be brave enough to start the process.
3. Look at your relationship in an objective matter.
A lot of the time, you can get lost in all of the romanticism in your relationship that you become totally blind to the parts of it that you need to be seeing. Your relationship is not perfect. And the more you come to terms with the imperfect parts of it, then the easier it will be for you to detach yourself from it.
4. Find the triggers of your attachment.
Sometimes, in order for you to overcome the attachment that you feel, you first need to understand where all of that attachment is coming from. You must first address all of the triggers of your attachment and then you will be able to systematically address them one by one.
5. Learn from people who understand the art of detachment.
It’s always essential that you are able to learn from people who understand what it really means to detach from others. Learn about their stories. Familiarize yourself with their experiences. Learn from them and try to see how you can apply those lessons to your own personal life and situation.
6. Understand that the pain of detachment is only temporary.
And of course, detachment is going to hurt. Think of it as you just ripping off the Band-Aid that’s been latching on to your skin for so long. But know that that pain is only going to be temporary. And eventually, you’re going to find that it’s the right decision for you to make.