The fact that you’re reading this is proof that you’re interested in getting over someone. However, you may have had trouble trying to do so on your own. That shouldn’t be a surprise.
When you first fall in love with someone, it can feel like they are your entire world. You meet someone that you’re interested in and you start to believe that you have a lot of things in common. You establish a kind of connection between the two of you and you don’t want to let it go. This is ultimately what it feels like to fall in love. It’s meting an extension of who you are outside of your person.
You have that connection and you build on it to the best of your abilities. You consider your relationship to be the most important aspect of your life at that point. Although, over time, you begin to notice that things turn sour in the relationship. Things aren’t as ideal as they once were anymore. The feelings of love, appreciation, and joy that you once had have now turned into resentment, depression, and anger. You know that something is wrong and that there is a need for change in the relationship.
A Relationship Turned Sour
Unfortunately, this happens way too often in a lot of relationships. While you might feel and look like a perfect couple at the start, things aren’t always going to stay that way. In the end, you end up getting your heartbroken. It doesn’t even matter if it’s you who initiates the breakup or if it’s your partner who does it. Breakups are always messy. They’re very difficult to recover from. This is especially true if you’re the one who was broken up with or if you never developed any kind of closure in your relationship.
But that’s not all. There are a variety of factors that go into making a breakup one of the most terrible and difficult ordeals you could ever go through. Think about it. When you first fall in love, you grow very attached. You don’t just grow attached to the person you are with. You also grow attached to the relationship that you are in. Most people become attached to certain feelings and sensations that are associated with being in love. This is what makes love so amazing and worthwhile. However, it is also what makes breakups so devastating whenever they occur. You are forced to say goodbye to so many things that you’ve grown accustomed to.
Is It Possible to Move On?
The short answer is yes, it’s quite possible to move on from someone you love. However, it’s not all that simple. In fact, for a lot of people, the art of moving on and getting over is an incredibly complex task. Sure, there are a few people out there who have a good grip on their feelings and can move on from heartbreak relatively quickly and easily. However, for the most part, people are generally going to have a hard time dealing with breakups. This is why people like yourself might resort to articles like this that could help you with coping with your feelings.
Of course, you could always seek the help of a licensed professional to deal with your emotions. However, not everyone has the time or money to be able to afford such a privilege. This is why articles like this are designed to be as helpful as can be. All you need to do is follow the tips that are going to be listed down here so that you have your best shot at regaining some sense of normalcy in your life. You must be able to gain control over your feelings and emotions so that they don’t end up controlling you.
Dangers of Not Addressing Your Feelings
If you are skeptical of the entire process, don’t be. You should be further incentivizing yourself to do your best in moving on from your ex as much as possible. If not, then you put yourself at a severe risk of damaging your own mental and emotional health. This is the biggest danger involved in not moving on and getting over someone. Ultimately, it can affect the way that you end up living your life. And you certainly don’t want that. You always want to ensure that you are a mentally and emotionally stable human being.
Another reason that you want to make sure that you address your feelings is for the sake of your relationships. This doesn’t just have to deal with your relationship (or lack thereof) with your ex. It also has to deal with the relationship that you have with your friends, family, and potential future lovers. If you don’t make an effort to get over the person you love, it can impact the way that you interact with other people. There may be a lot of unresolved issues within you that could keep you from having healthy relationships with the most important people in your life.
How to Get Over Someone
Now, you fully understand the gravity of your situation. It’s now time for you to learn the different steps or methods that are involved in getting over someone that you love. Before you start, it’s important to know that you shouldn’t rush through any of these processes. Sometimes, even when you try something out, it can take some time before you see any results. Just try your best to stay as patient as possible. In the end, if you just trust the process, you’re going to turn out fine.
Here are a few ways in which you can get over someone and move on from them entirely:
1. Trust the Process
Too often, a lot of people will try to rush the process of trying to forget or get over someone. This is the first big mistake that you need to make sure you avoid as much as possible. You shouldn’t allow yourself to get so caught up with the results that you end up forgetting that the process is the most important part.
Yes, you want to feel okay again. You want to regain that sense of normalcy with your emotional and mental health. However, you can’t just get there by making one giant leap. It’s sometimes going to be a slow and gradual process that you need to orient yourself with. This isn’t something that you can hope to achieve in just one day or a week. For some people, it can take even years. You just have to be patient and trust in the process. Believe that everything you’re going through right now is for the betterment of your future.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel Pain
Another big mistake that people tend to make whenever they’re trying to get over someone is they ignore the pain. Of course, it’s good if you don’t let your negative feelings take over your life. It means that you have control over your emotions and you’re not descending into madness. However, it’s not healthy for you to just completely ignore your feelings altogether. You can’t afford to just pretend that your feelings aren’t there. You need to address that they’re real for you to get over them.
Yes, this might be a very uncomfortable aspect of the process. However, it’s a necessary one. No one ever likes to have to deal with negative emotions like sadness, anger, or regret. But you can’t expect these uncomfortable feelings to go away on their own. You need to acknowledge that they are there and come to terms with them. This is the only real way that you would ever be able to address your feelings healthily and maturely.
3. Assess Your Relationship Honestly
Sometimes, people will make the mistake of just focusing on the good parts of a failed relationship. Don’t view your relationship with rose-colored lenses. It becomes a lot easier to move on from a failed relationship when you look at things through a clearer and more honest lens. Your relationship was problematic and that’s why it failed. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that everything was perfect and you’re missing out on all of that perfection.
4. Deal with Your Grief in a Healthy Manner
It was previously mentioned that you need to confront your feelings and be honest with yourself about them. However, this can be a very dangerous part of the process as some people tend to let their feelings get the best of them. Sometimes, people will resort to tantrums or other lesser forms of destructive behavior. Although, it can get a lot more serious when people devolve into developing addictions or other more serious forms of self-destruction.
If you address your grief, you must deal with it constructively. Don’t be afraid of letting your anger out more healthily.
5. Write Your Feelings Down
It helps to take the time to write your feelings down. You don’t even have to be a good writer. Don’t worry so much about grammar or syntax. Rather, focus on authenticity and honesty. You need to address your feelings honestly if you’re going to address them. Sometimes, as a method of coping, we will ignore or suppress certain emotions deep down inside us. This can be very problematic as these unaddressed feelings can cause some serious trouble to a person’s psyche.
So, just take the time to write these feelings down and come to terms with them. This is going to allow you to gain some sense of power over these feelings so that they won’t end up overpowering you in the end. Also, writing can be a very therapeutic form of release.
6. Isolate Yourself from Your Ex
You need to make sure that you isolate yourself from the person who broke your heart in the first place. Nothing good can come from exposing yourself to them over and over again If they have left anything behind at your place, then get rid of those things. You need to remove the reminders of this person as much as possible.
Remember that this process of moving on has nothing to do with them. They might have been what caused your heartache, but they have no say in how you get to process your feelings. That is all up to you. So, this is why you just need to isolate yourself from them for the time being. They shouldn’t get to influence how you deal with your sadness and grief moving forward. This is all up to you from this point on.
7. Focus on Yourself
The process of getting over someone is very introspective. Contrary to popular belief, it has very little to do with the person who broke your heart. It has more to do with the feelings that you have within you. This is why you must focus on yourself throughout the entire process. You are the priority here. It’s you who is currently suffering. So, you have to focus on your own needs and your happiness for you to be okay.
To do this, you just have to make sure that you do things that you enjoy. Do all of the things that you are passionate about. So read lots of books. Watch a lot of movies. Go out and exercise. Do whatever fills your heart with joy and happiness. Become a better human being. Throw yourself into your career. Do whatever it takes to bring a sense of meaning and fulfillment into your life. If you haven’t been winning in your relationships, at least you can win elsewhere.
8. When You’re Ready, Jump Back into the Dating Pool
Now, you must take your time with this one. Don’t be so eager to just rebound with someone else. That’s not a healthy way of processing your feelings and it definitely wouldn’t be fair to the person you’re rebounding with. Before you jump into any kind of relationship with someone else, you need to make sure that you are in the right emotional and mental state to do so.
Although, once you feel like you’re ready, then you shouldn’t be afraid of seeing other people again. Don’t let the negative experience of your previous relationship taint your idea of love and romance forever. Ultimately, you still deserve to be loved. And you deserve to find happiness in love with someone else. You have to convince yourself of this fact. It’s okay for you to want to pursue a relationship with another person once you’re ready to do so. This will also serve as a great test for whether you’ve moved on from your ex or not.
9. Let Time Run Its Course
Ultimately, as cliché, as it sounds. Time does heal all wounds. It may not feel like it, but eventually, you are going to be okay. Again, it’s going to be different for everyone. Just because you know someone who has been able to move on rather quickly doesn’t mean that you should be subjecting yourself to the same timeline. We all deal with our emotions and process our feelings differently.
If you’re not okay now, then that’s fine. Just sit with it for a bit and allow yourself to deal with and process your feelings. Eventually, you are going to wake up one day and that heavy feeling in your heart is no longer going to be there. On that day, you will realize that you’re okay and that you’ve successfully put your heartbreak behind you.
10. Ask for Help
Lastly, don’t be afraid of asking for help. Sometimes, you can’t just do it on your own and that’s okay. Be honest with your capabilities and come to terms with the fact that you need help. Sometimes, this help can come from a friend or a loved one. Other times, it can come from a licensed professional. Whatever the case, there is no shame in asking for help in addressing your emotions.
There you have it. Those are just some of the tips that are involved in trying to get over someone you might have once been deeply in love with. Again, it’s not going to be an easy or simple process. But it doesn’t have to be completely impossible either. Just because you’ve gone through a breakup with someone you love doesn’t mean that your life is over. Contrary to popular belief, there is still life after love.
At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to try to get over this person who broke your heart. Of course, it’s not going to be simple and no one expects you to do it quickly. You just have to take your time and make sure that you are taking care of yourself. More than anything, you are the priority here and you are most deserving of love. Sometimes, you can’t get that love from someone else and this is when you need to start relying on yourself.