If you’re surrounded by people who just don’t understand your depression, all I can say is ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been there and I’m still struggling with it, but you NEED to stop hiding your depression if you want your life back. Surround yourself with people who support you and kick those out who think it’s a joke and those who think it’s “just a phase”. Depression is no joke, it’s one of the hardest things to be at war with your own mind every single day. There are millions of people who suffer from depression. You’re not alone. Don’t give up. And stop hiding.’
One of the several reasons why people around us fail to detect our depressed state of mind is how we hide it from them. Due to some reasons, we don’t feel comfortable telling people about how we feel; the fear of being judged and misunderstood stops us from sharing our feelings of depression so we try to conceal them in different ways.
1. You Lie:
When people ask why you look like shit, you tell them that you are having a bad hair day or it is just your rough skin these days. You lie to people when you feel like they might discover what is going on inside you.
2. You Make Jokes:
The most common and effective way of hiding pain is making fun of it. You use it as your defense; you make self-deprecating jokes and make fun of how you are sick of life. People fail to see the seriousness behind those jokes.
3. You Find Other Reasons:
What can possibly make you so hopelessly and numbly sad? Maybe you are just bored and need attention. That is what you tell yourself. You lie to yourself first to lie to the people around you. You deny your mental condition to save the trouble of being judged.
4. You Give Very Small Hints:
You do try to give subtle hints to people; you share posts about nihilism and heartbreak waiting for someone to message you and ask if you are okay. You listen to calming music all the time as if to help yourself and you harm yourself here and there hoping someone would ask if you did it on purpose.
5. You Stay Shut:
Quite often do you try to express your feelings to your friends; you type texts and remove them thinking you might disturb them or they might not react the right way. You update a status on Facebook only to delete it a minute later in fear of being called an attention whore. To stay untouched and away, you keep it all to yourself.
6. You Date:
You date one person after another hoping they would help you get out of that state of mind. You also secretly hope for it to be a safe room where you can hide from the world because the world will assume you are happy when you are in a relationship. Even if does not cure you, it will hide you. You take your chances.
7. You Wear Colors:
Not dressing up good did not help you conceal your depression so you take up bright colors to both shut people up and feel good. The former does happen but, unfortunately, the latter does not. Wear good feel good philosophy does not work for you.
8. You Laugh Out Loud:
When it gets just too difficult, you start faking smiles and laughter because someone once said that repetition of lies becomes truth. What it does, although, is remind you of the merciless numbness. It is all you can think about with your mouth wide open, guffawing on something that is not even that much fun.
9. You Don’t See A Therapist:
You know you need to see a therapist but you keep making excuses to yourself. Either you don’t want to spend so much money on it or you don’t want to open up at all. Either you lack the willpower or the time to do it.
10. You Look Happy Online:
There may be a hundred mixed feelings going on inside you but you don’t let your online friends see that. You post happy pictures, check into places and share videos of cats and babies. People will think that you are just another normal person but nobody will get a hint of what you are going through in real life.
11. You Are A Good Liar:
When someone asks you why did not attend the party, you give them some excuse that is better to digest than I did not feel like going out because I am depressed. You have become a good liar, one that is hard to catch and you take full advantage of it. Nobody can know you were crying under your pillow all night.
12. You Normalize Tragedies:
You talk about tragedies like they are no big deal and you are okay. Everything is just fine’ with you.
13. You Cry Alone:
Everything you do, you do it alone; crying, eating, more crying. Alone is what you love now.
14. You Fake It:
One minute you will be telling your aunt on the phone how perfect your life is and the next, you will be harming yourself.
15. You Ignore Yourself:
You start ignoring yourself by putting other people first. You treat them, help them and make them feel important to ignore your own self and to take people’s eyes off you.
16. You Function Just The Same:
Every morning before leaving the house, you tell yourself to stay normal and participate. You go to work, come back home, attend parties and go shopping, all while feeling nothing inside. That is how you do it; that is how you hide your depression from the world.