Husband Angry at Wife for Using Her Free Time Reading Fiction & Not Biographies

The past two years have undoubtedly been life-changing for all of us. We’ve had to learn to adapt, change routines, learn new skills, and find ways to survive through turmoil. None of us knew it was about to happen, it just did, and we were all left fending for ourselves.

We had to learn to work from home, which had a massive impact on our society as a whole. But human beings have always been survivors, so we found out the best ways to deal with this and get through it.

This tidal shift also affected every relationship in its own way; some couples got closer while others became estranged. Today’s story is about a husband who wanted his wife to adapt according to him, but she didn’t, and it led to their divorce.

This story comes from The Washington Post’s advice columnist Carolyn Hax; she does a lot of live sessions where her readers ask for advice regarding relationships and life in general.

A husband posted his situation where he wanted his wife to use her spare time reading biographies and change her habits according to him, while she was reading fiction and trying to relax in her free time. He wrote:

“Before the pandemic, my wife and I — early 30s, both lawyers — had long working hours and frequent business travel, with weekends spent largely on family events and cultural activities. Once our respective firms sent us to work at home, we calculated we would gain 30-plus hours a week, even while still working full-time, due to not commuting, traveling or socializing in person. We promised each other we would use that time to be productive in ways our prior schedules did not permit.”

“I kept up my end of the bargain: In six months I read 25 biographies, developed decent conversational skills in two foreign languages, upped my running program to the point that I am marathon-ready, and started volunteering for voter registration advocacy, all while continuing to work full-time. My wife has done … not so much. She has been reading fantasy novels, occasionally watching a History Channel documentary, and has generally used the time to ‘unwind.'”

“I have confronted her several times, and she tells me she is “rejecting productivity culture” and doesn’t feel like improving herself right now. We share housework, cooking, and other practical matters, and she does exercise, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated — disgusted, even — that she would waste this gift of free time just to watch TV and read books better suited for children.”

“I have asked her to get counseling and a depression evaluation, but she has refused and thinks she is conducting herself ‘fine.’ Do you have any suggestions, other than divorce?”

Yes, there are too many red flags in his message to count. This man sounds like the embodiment of a toxic husband. Carolyn Hax aptly responded to his situation by saying his wife would be much better without him.

In an update by Carolyn Hax, it was mentioned that the two had divorced – we’re happy for the woman in this situation and hope she finds someone who lets her breathe and not get impressed when someone reads a thousand biographies. There’s nothing wrong with taking time off for yourself.

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Source: The Washington Post – Carolyn Hax: Couple agreed to be ‘productive’ during pandemic but only one followed through

1 comment
  1. This toxic relation has made her a depression patient. She has faced alot in her life. She has no courage to face anything that she thinks only a assumption not reality. Its only assumption. Because nothing appeares in reality because its fake. So, she dont want to make herself its fake relation’s part anymore now. Because she thinks its ended from other side a long time before and she awares it now.

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