I Don’t Need A Man To Solve Problems; I Need A Man Who Won’t Become A Problem

There’s this common misconception that women are always going to need men in their lives if they want to survive in this world. And I think that that’s a load of bull crap. People especially women have just got to stop buying into that mindset. It’s not true. Men need to stop thinking that the sole purpose of their existence in love is to solve the problems of the women of the world. And women have just got to stop believing that they need men to make it far in this world. It shouldn’t be like that. I am a strong and independent woman; and I can stand on my own. I can fend for myself. I am fully capable of making it in this life alone.

But that doesn’t mean that I want to. My independence shouldn’t be taken to mean that I’m a relationship hater. It shouldn’t be taken to mean that I’m a skeptic when it comes to love. In fact, you might even say that I’m a hopeless romantic. You might even say that I’m almost desperate for it. But I’m certainly not desperate enough to just let a man rule over my life for the sake of being in a relationship. Because if that were the case, the it’s not a real relationship at all. It’s no love. Love isn’t about being controlling.

Love isn’t about being able to make choices for another person. Love isn’t about completely directing the life of the person you’re with. Love is about support and acceptance. Love is about inspiration and motivation. Love is about the constant and endless stream of support. If you fall in love with me, I want you to know that I’m going to let you do so but not without my boundaries.

The truth is that even though I want love in my life, I don’t necessarily need a man. And that’s the thing about me. I’m always going to CHOOSE to love you. It’s not a necessity. It’s not something that I HAVE to do. When I fall in love with you, it’s a conscious choice that I’m going to make every single day that we’re together. When I fall in love with you, it’s a decision that I make all of the time. If I’m going to stay at your side, it’s not because I’m doing it because I need to. I’m going to stay with you because I love you and I want to take care of you. But that doesn’t mean I want you to carry me on your back for the rest of our lives together. That doesn’t mean that I want you to constantly be picking up after me whenever I slack off.

That’s not how I think love should work. That’s not how I think healthy relationships should look like. And I don’t want to be putting that kind of pressure on you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re going to have to carry weight of two peoples’ worlds on your shoulder. I don’t want you to feel like you need to giving 200% to this relationship just because I won’t carry my own weight. I don’t want you to think that you’re going to have to constantly be hustling and working double time just because you don’t expect me to be doing the same. Know that whatever you’re going to give to this relationship, I’m going to give just as much in return. Know that however much of yourself you choose to invest in our love, you’re getting the same kind of investment from me.

At the end of the day, I’m not really looking for a knight in shining armor. I’m not a damsel in distress and I definitely don’t need saving by anyone. What I’m looking for is a genuine partner; someone who I can hold hands with as we face the world together. I’m not looking for a man who is going to solve all of my problems for me. I want a man who can look into my eyes and tell me that I can do whatever I set my mind out to do. I want a man who isn’t going to serve as a roadblock between me and my dreams.

I don’t want a man who is going to go out there to do all of the work on my behalf. He just needs to be a guy who isn’t going to get in the way of my work. He has to be someone who is going to look at me as I hustle and just be proud of me. I’m not looking for a savior because I don’t really need saving. I’m looking for a genuine life partner. I’m looking for someone who I can really build a future with; not someone who is going to build my future for me.

  1. Ladies, buying into the tenant’s of this article, will all but ensure, you will stay single, alone and maybe with a pet.

  2. The blurb holds all the qualities of alpha males who are one in a million kind. I salute the mum who made me that one.
    Exactly like “don’t want a Knight in shining armour but holds hand to face world together.” Wow.

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