Don’t make any excuses. Don’t allow what we are to become something that merely could have been.
I don’t want to be your biggest regret. I want to be the best decision that you have ever made in your life.
A lot of people are going to think that it’s cool to be a person’s greatest regret. And I have to admit that there is some appeal to it. If you manage to make a person fall in love with you so much that you make them regret ever letting you go. You make someone deeply sad about not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated. You make someone so remorseful about the fact that they could have had you but they chose to be careless and they let you slip right through their fingers. You make a person feel that no matter where they go in life, no matter what they do, no matter who they end up with, they are still going to be wishing that they ended up with you. So yes, there is some appeal to that thought. You ended up being that one constant in that person’s mind for the rest of time. But I don’t want to be your biggest regret. I don’t want to be the person that you let slip from your grasp. I don’t want to end up as a mere thought on your mind. I don’t want to be a mere something that could have been.
I want to be there beside you as you’re old, wrinkly, and frail. I don’t just want to exist as a mere idea to you. I want to be a real person in your life. I want to be standing there in front of you. I want you to be able to reach out and touch my face whenever you wanted to. I want to be there whenever you need a shoulder to cry on. I want to be there whenever you need a hand to hold. I want to be there as you stare deeply into my eyes and as you let me know that so as long as I’m with you, the world is never going to stop. I want to be the person you really chose to fight for. I want to be the person you never have any regrets with. I want you to feel the need to love me like you feel the need to breathe. I don’t want a temporary romance. I don’t want a hot and cold fling. I want a fiery, steamy, long-lasting passion with you. I want a permanent love affair that centers around the both of us. You don’t necessarily have to be standing by my side 24/7, but I need you to be there for the important parts. I want you to give me the kind of security that tells me that you would never leave just because things got difficult. I want you to give me the kind of security that tells me that everything is going to turn out alright so as long as you’re holding my hand. I want you to do anything within your power to keep me in your world. I want you to love me with total patience and understanding. I want you to care for me in ways that no one else ever has or ever could. I want you to be caring and nurturing to me as a partner. I want you to be able to make me laugh even when I’m not in the mood to smile. I want you to be able to still and silence my heart when my mind is at an uproar. I need you to be able to love me even when I don’t feel like I’m deserving of love. I need you to be able to be patient with me whenever I tell you that I need to be alone. And I need you to be there for me whenever I have to run back to you.
Isolation and solitude have grown to be really important to me. I’ve been hurt so many times by so many people, I have grown to just really rely on myself. At least with me, I know what I’m getting. There is nothing about my personality that can blindside me. I am confident in who I am and I know my own limitations as well. I am hoping that you can give me the same kind of confidence. I am hoping that you can give me the same kind of security that I am able to give myself.
So please, don’t allow me to become your biggest regret. You love me and so please fight to keep me in your life. Don’t make any excuses. Don’t allow what we are to become something that merely could have been. Fight for us. Fight for me. Fight for our love.