I Learned That People Who Love You Won’t Always Have Your Back

We should all learn to be strong and independent. 

This may be adifficult thought to fathom, but just indulge for a little bit. Just because aperson loves you doesn’t mean that that person is always going to be there foryou when you need them to be. It sounds weird, right? It almost seemscounterintuitive. At first, you would think: If a person truly loved me, thenthat person would always be willing to come to my rescue at any moment! Butthen if you really think about it, that’s not always going to be the case. Ouroptimistic and idealistic nature always has a way of distorting reality. Andreality always has a way of kicking us in the gut when our heads are soaringway too high above the clouds. And currently, the reality of the situation isthis: when it’s all said and done, the only person you can rely on a hundredpercent of the time is yourself. The people who love you (and there’s no doubtthat they really do love you) aren’t always going to be there for you. Livewith it. Accept it. Face the facts.

A lot of peoplewho love you will have a tendency to tell you that they will protect you fromany harm. They will tell you that they would never put you in a positionwherein people can hurt you. But in the end, why do you still get hurt fromtime to time? Why are you still being placed in vulnerable situations? Why areyou still opening yourself up to pain? It’s because the promises that thesepeople made to you are outlandish. They are promises that are meant to bebroken. You can’t blame these people for their passivity. They have their ownlives to worry about. They have their own pain that they are forced to dealwith. You will have to watch over your own back because the people who love youhave their own backs that need some watching over as well.

There will bepeople who genuinely, legitimately, truly love you. They will be the samepeople who will tell you that they will never leave your side and yet you stillfind yourself alone often. They will still be the same people who will tell youthat they will hold your hand whenever you’re scared. And yet, you findyourself constantly being frightened and terrified without a hand to hold.These are the same people who will tell you that you can cry on theirshoulders, but why did they even allow you to start crying in the first place?Why didn’t they protect you from being sad? The tears never had to come and yetthey came.

These people whowill tell you they love you are very kind and genuine people. They really dolove you and you should never doubt that. You should only doubt their promises.They will tell you that you are always a priority in their lives, but youreally aren’t. Peoples’ priorities in life will always be themselves. You cannever expect another person to place your needs above their own. It’s survivalof the fittest. Sure, there are some people who will claim that you are alwaysnumber one. Hell, these people might even believe in what they’re telling you.But they are only deluding themselves. When it all comes down to it, when weare all stripped down to the bare minimum, all we really have is ourselves.

Do not doubtthat there are people in your life who love you very much. These people woulddo their absolute best when it comes to taking care of you. They will have themost sincere intentions in creating a wonderful, beautiful, eventful,memorable, and comfortable life for you. But you have to understand that goodintentions aren’t always going to be enough. These people are going to stumblesometimes because they are human. They won’t always be there for you becausethey have their own flaws that need fixing as well. They will try to build youup the best way they can. They will tell you that you are a strong andbrilliant individual who is capable of great things. They will make you believethat you are the most important person in the world. But you can’t alwaysexpect them to treat you like you’re the VIP. You can’t always expect everyoneto be bending at your will. You can’t always expect people to put their liveson pause just to make sure that yours is going smoothly.

Yes, it may bedifficult to accept the fact that the people you love are going to break theirpromises to you in some shape or form. It’s going to be hard to believe in theidea that people who love you aren’t always going to help you when times gettough. But there’s also something very empowering and exhilarating about thatconcept. We should all learn to be strong and independent. 

We should all learnhow to defend and protect ourselves even though there are other people who arewilling to do it for us. We should be able to take care of ourselves even whenthere are other people who love us. We have to learn to love ourselves just asmuch as we want others to love us too. 

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