I couldn’t help but wonder to myself as I looked at my beautiful girlfriend: Did she settle for me? The thought gripped me in a way that I didn’t expect it could. I wanted to talk about it, but I wanted to say the right words. I had to think about it a little more…
It was a random night and we just happened to be sitting on the couch after a hefty dinner that she prepared for the both of us in her apartment. A news report flashed on TV saying how a study had shown that more and more women felt like they were settling in their relationships. I found it interesting at the thought of women settling in relationships. Did they feel like they deserved more out of a man? Did they feel like they were entitled to better things? I couldn’t help but wonder to myself as I looked at my beautiful girlfriend: Did she settle for me? The thought gripped me in a way that I didn’t expect it could. I wanted to talk about it, but I wanted to say the right words. I had to think about it a little more. I had to see where girls are coming from and what possible factors could have led them to feel that way in particular. Is it possible for men to feel the same way? Do men ever feel like they just settle for the girls that they date?
I had to take a good hard look at my relationship and the dynamics of what makes us a couple. What are our strengths and what are our weaknesses? What are the ins and outs of our love story? Let’s start with dissecting the individuals that make up the love team. First with me; I’m a simpleton. An average joe who feels like he has to make up for his aesthetic imperfections with wit, charm, and natural charisma. I am no David Beckham by any means when it comes to look, but I think I can still hold my own in a collection of male libido.
Now on to my girlfriend, she’s the complete opposite of who I am. She’s the kind of woman who demands the attention of whatever room she’s in. She offers a face so soft and attractive, that it’s worthy of at least 586 double-takes on her daily walks and commutes. She has an alluring smile and eyes that offer warmth and protection from the harshness of the world. She’s a great conversationalist and has the uncanny ability to make anyone feel like what they’re saying is actually interesting. She’s smart and she always manages to hold her own.
So how did our love story start? It’s nothing special. It’s not as grand as Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack’s meet-cute in Serendipity. We had mutual friends who introduced us one night, and gradually, our friendship evolved into what it has become today. It’s been absolutely swell, but we’ve also had our share of troubles. We are both rational and thinking people so we’ve had our disagreements every now and then. We are both emotional and so sometimes, we let our emotions get the best of us during heated moments. – Continue reading on the next page
But in the end, our love and the dynamics of our relationship seem to always pull us through. We’ve found ourselves to be in a good place romantically but we’re still continuing to learn and grow in love with each other. There are plenty of things that we need to work on, and we should always be open to developing as individuals and as a couple. We both have our personal dreams and aspirations for ourselves and for each other. We try our best to reconcile our ideas of a future that we can share together for the betterment of our relationship.
However, there are stark differences between the roles that we play in our relationship. She’s very independent and doesn’t fit into the traditional stay-at-home girlfriend who relies on her boyfriend for financial assistance. She does perfectly well on her own and is fully capable of providing for herself. I look at myself and see a man who is mediocre at worst. I am nothing exceptional. I don’t get the same double-takes that she does every day. I don’t excel at my work, but I do enough to get by. I am driven, but sometimes, lady luck just refuses to play on my side. All of these thoughts come crashing down on me as we sit on that couch and I think to myself. Am I settling for who I am? For who I’ve become?
If I’m settling for who I am, does that mean that she’s also settling for me? Perhaps she is. With her looks and her talents, she has the ability to land practically any guy she wants. Instead, she chose me. Who am I? What have I done to deserve her? Have I really lived up to what she deserves or is she just choosing to settle for me? I don’t know the answers to these questions and I so must ask, in the most innocent way possible: Why do women settle?