Hey Relationship Rules, I’m a 38-year-old woman from Pennsylvania. My boyfriend is 40 and has 2 kids from his previous marriage. We’ve been living together for the past year and things have been rocky. I make more money than him so I don’t mind helping him out with his finances from time to time. But this recent event has left me confused and lost.
A few days ago, he was out shopping for groceries. When he saw a gaming console for his son. He called me and asked me for a few hundred dollars. I told him I’ll give him the money once I’m back from work, but he said “it’s okay just give me your bank info and I’ll manage.” I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my bank info with him and it was all so rushed. This situation made me reconsider our financial arrangement, especially since we’ve been discussing joint bank accounts for couples. I felt that if we were planning to share finances, we needed to establish some boundaries and trust. It’s essential to ensure both parties are comfortable and secure in their financial dealings before taking such a significant step.
He kept insisting and I said no. When I came back home, he was very angry at me and told me I’m supposed to trust him with everything. He told me I’m supposed to take an equal part in helping him out with his kids and I shouldn’t keep any finances to myself. Does that sound fair?
Our Response
Hey Anonymous, we think you did the right thing by not giving him your bank account information. He has no right to be angry and upset with you over not giving him YOUR money. You don’t owe him anything. There’s a way to ask, and then there’s ordering around. We think you need to rethink your choices because this relationship doesn’t seem like the type you’ll be happy in. We hope you find happiness and peace!
Ask Relationship Rules
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You should have your own account, he should have his own account, and then have a joint account which you both put into for bills.