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I think I made a mistake by accusing my boyfriend of cheating & breaking up with him

Isla Emmet Isla Emmet | September 2, 2022 | 3 min read

Hey Relationship Rules, I think I’ve made a massive mistake by breaking up with my boyfriend. I’m 34 years old and my boyfriend is 35, we’d been dating happily for the past 7 years without any problems – life was good. We lived together and had plans of marrying. Last month, I had a massive fight with him when he came home from a party with a lipstick mark on the back of his shirt – I instantly accused him of cheating. He told me he didn’t cheat and it’s probably a joke. After that fight, I couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal, leading to divorce discussions after one year of living together. It wasn’t just about the lipstick mark anymore; my trust in him had been shattered. Now, I’m left contemplating whether this relationship, which once felt solid, is worth fighting for or if it’s time to move on.

One thing to note about me is that I’d been cheated on twice in past relationships, I have trust issues but I always thought this relationship was the one that made my insecurities go away. When my boyfriend kept insisting he didn’t cheat, I looked at his phone and his browser history – went complete search mode on him but I could not find a single thing. But I just couldn’t let it go and I broke up with him. He kept insisting this is a mistake and was genuinely very upset when I moved out – he couldn’t believe it.

Recently, I saw a video on TikTok of a girl kissing random men on the back of their shirts at parties, leaving lipstick marks to put them in trouble, and now I think I’ve made a massive mistake. Although the video is from some girl in Australia and I’m from New York, I think it’s something that’s common and can happen. I have no idea what to do. Did I make a massive mistake or did my boyfriend really cheat? Please help. when contemplating what does it mean to be called boo, I can’t help but feel a mix of confusion and insecurity. It seemed innocent at first, but now I’m left questioning the boundaries of our relationship. I need to figure out if this playful nickname is just harmless fun or if it signifies something deeper between them.

Our Response

Dear Anonymous, we are sorry you had to go through a breakup and the feelings of being cheated on – it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. According to your message, we think your boyfriend is not at fault since he didn’t show any signs of a cheater. You did your research and didn’t find anything. It’s perfectly natural to be haunted by your past experiences but it’s also good to know who deserves your trust. We recommend you sit down with him and explain your side of the story completely and make him understand why you acted like that. If he was really cheating, which we highly doubt, you’ll find out one way or another. But this one instance is too common to end a good relationship. Hope this helps and best of luck to you both!

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Isla Emmet
Written by
Isla Emmet

Isla is a relationship writer and former counsellor based in London. With a background in psychotherapy and five years of writing about love, attachment, and emotional wellbeing, she brings a calm and deeply empathetic voice to every piece. Isla believes that understanding yourself is the first step to understanding the people you love. When she is not writing, she is hiking the Scottish Highlands or curled up with a good novel and a strong cup of tea.