I think I made a mistake by accusing my boyfriend of cheating & breaking up with him

Hey Relationship Rules, I think I’ve made a massive mistake by breaking up with my boyfriend. I’m 34 years old and my boyfriend is 35, we’d been dating happily for the past 7 years without any problems – life was good. We lived together and had plans of marrying. Last month, I had a massive fight with him when he came home from a party with a lipstick mark on the back of his shirt – I instantly accused him of cheating. He told me he didn’t cheat and it’s probably a joke.

One thing to note about me is that I’d been cheated on twice in past relationships, I have trust issues but I always thought this relationship was the one that made my insecurities go away. When my boyfriend kept insisting he didn’t cheat, I looked at his phone and his browser history – went complete search mode on him but I could not find a single thing. But I just couldn’t let it go and I broke up with him. He kept insisting this is a mistake and was genuinely very upset when I moved out – he couldn’t believe it.

Recently, I saw a video on TikTok of a girl kissing random men on the back of their shirts at parties, leaving lipstick marks to put them in trouble, and now I think I’ve made a massive mistake. Although the video is from some girl in Australia and I’m from New York, I think it’s something that’s common and can happen. I have no idea what to do. Did I make a massive mistake or did my boyfriend really cheat? Please help.

Our Response

Dear Anonymous, we are sorry you had to go through a breakup and the feelings of being cheated on – it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. According to your message, we think your boyfriend is not at fault since he didn’t show any signs of a cheater. You did your research and didn’t find anything. It’s perfectly natural to be haunted by your past experiences but it’s also good to know who deserves your trust. We recommend you sit down with him and explain your side of the story completely and make him understand why you acted like that. If he was really cheating, which we highly doubt, you’ll find out one way or another. But this one instance is too common to end a good relationship. Hope this helps and best of luck to you both!

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