I Want A Man Who Is Open With Me; Not A Man Of Mystery

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“And to be quite honest, mysterious men scare me.”

I’m definitely not a woman of mystery. I like to lay everything out into the open. I don’t see the value of withholding things about myself on purpose when I get into a relationship with someone. I’m just that kind of girl. I know that love is about taking risks and when I take that risk, I go big. I don’t want to be coy about it. When I’m interested in a guy, I let it be known. And if things don’t work out, then I’ll try to move on. But if there’s a chance that he’s interested in me as well, I want him to be just as open and honest with me as I am with him. For me, being secretive and mysterious on purpose just completely overcomplicates things. Love is already such a complex and challenging emotional experience for one to undertake. And adding more mystery to the situation just makes things unnecessarily more difficult. And there’s no point in making a difficult thing even more challenging. I think that if we want to fall in love with someone, we want to make the experience as easy as possible for one another.

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I can understand that people only want to be intimate with their mates at the start of a fresh relationship. I can understand the initial hesitation and reluctance. In fact, I see the appeal of not getting the whole reveal right away in a relationship. It adds to the thrill of starting a new romance; not knowing where you’re headed just yet; taking things slow. It’s all very attractive. So okay, I can understand not completely opening up at first.

But it also gets to a point where the game starts getting corny. I want to know who I’m getting into bed with so to speak. I want to know just who it is I’m choosing to be vulnerable to. I want to be able to trust the person I’m with, and I can’t do that if you won’t open yourself up to me. It’s almost obsessive the way that I want to get to know someone that I’m falling for. I want to climb into this person’s skin and walk a mile in it. I want to be able to see things from their perspective so that I can understand them better. I want to be able to really know what it’s like to be this person. And that can only happen with real openness and honesty.

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And as I’ve mentioned previously, unnecessary mystery only overcomplicates an already complex ordeal. Relationships are never designed to be easy and I understand that. But they don’t always have to be so difficult either. Being closed off in a relationship just makes it too difficult for me even when it doesn’t really have to be. Too many youngsters nowadays think that they need to play hard to get and distant for them to find true love. They use these methods as some sort of test. But that’s wrong. When you’re really in love, you don’t have to be withholding. When you’re really in love, you don’t have to be coy or shy about it. When you’re really in love. You don’t try to contain it. You let it out. You let it go.

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When you deliberately act mysterious with me, then I will assume it’s because there’s something about you that you’re hiding from me. I will assume it’s because there are things about you that you don’t want known to others. I will assume that there are things about you that you’re too ashamed of. And I can’t learn to trust someone who can’t grow to trust me either. And that’s just what’s going to happen if you continue to be mysterious towards me. That’s what is going to happen if you are always going to keep withholding information about yourself to me.

And to be quite honest, mysterious men scare me. They frighten me to my bones. I typically only ever get comfortable with people who are comfortable with opening themselves up to me. And if you are going to be all mysterious around me, then I’m never going to grow to be comfortable with you. How will I ever know if I can safely place my heart in your hands if you’re never going to give me the kind of security I need?

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You have to know that over time, mystery is going to lose its luster and its appeal. At the end of the day, the strongest couples are always going to rely on pure honesty and openness. The strongest couples are the ones whose spirits merge into a single entity. And that can never happen between us if you refuse to open yourself up. That will never happen between us if you keep on being secretive.