I want to be more than just your partner.
I think it’s wrong for people to approach love as if it’s going to serve as the missing piece in the puzzles that make up their lives. I think it takes away from the integrity of the love if we use it as a tool for something; as if it’s merely a means to an end as opposed to just being an end in itself. I hate that we treat love like food; like something we can seek out when we’re hungry; something we seek out when we’re craving something. Love shouldn’t be exist solely to satiate us. I think that that’s an unreasonable and unwarranted simplification of what true love is supposed to be.
I hate when people approach the pursuit of love as if it’s an absolute necessity. I hate when people rely or depend on love to give them a sense of fulfilment or completion in life. I hate it when people turn to love as some sort of answer to all the problems that plague their lives. Love doesn’t owe you anything and it would be wrong for you to place that kind of unnecessary pressure on it. Love isn’t some sort of medicine that you can take and expect to make everything in your life feel better. Love isn’t what you should be basing your entire existence on. You need to be more than just someone’s loved one. And you can’t make your relationship compose your entire life.
And that’s why I want to be more than just your partner. I don’t want to be just someone who happens to complete a part of you that was missing before you met me. I don’t want to act as if you were an incomplete person before I even walked into your life. I don’t want to treat you like an ignorant little human being who is virtually incapable of independent thought. I don’t want to be your brain. You have your own that’s functioning perfectly well.
I want to be more than just your partner. I don’t want to be someone that you think you could just replace as long as the situation permits it. I don’t want to be someone who is only there as long as the conditions are right. I don’t want us to be a mere partnership wherein we both get together to accomplish a task. I want to be so much more than that. I want so much more for the both of us. I don’t want to be your partner in the sense that I’m merely someone you can fall back on when you’re feeling lonely. I want to be more than that. I don’t want to be someone who you expect to help mend your heart back together whenever it gets broken. I don’t want you to expect me to be the protector of your fragile spirit.
I want to be more than just your partner. I want to be more than just someone you pass the ball too whenever the pressure starts to get to you. I want to be more than just someone you defer to whenever you feel like you can’t do something. I want to be more than just a punching bag whenever you feel like you need to release all of this negative energy within you. I want to be more than just a mirror in which you can use to view yourself.
But more than anything else, I want to be more than someone who holds you together. I want to be more than someone who keeps your sanity in check. I want to be more than someone who is responsibly for keeping your life from crumbling down into pieces.
Don’t get me wrong. It sounds amazing for me to be able to do all of those things for you. And I would willingly be whatever you need me to be for the sake of our romance. But I don’t want limits on what I can do. And I don’t want you to grow dependent on me. I want you to be able to live a life that is worth living whether I exist or not. I don’t want to be your partner in the sense that you would be out of the game if I weren’t in it. I want you to learn how to keep on moving forward even if it meant leaving me behind.
I will do whatever I can to make your life easier but at the end of the day, you have to be able to rely on yourself as well. I don’t want to be defined by whatever role I play in our relationship. But I also don’t want you to let the relationship make up your whole life. We deserve more from ourselves. We deserve more from one another.