I Want To Be Your Forever For Real

No more excuses. I’m not going to buy any of them anymore.

It’s like an endless loop that I can’t seem to get out of that we can’t seem to break away from. I’m tired of this and I’m hoping that you’re tired too. That way, if we’re tired together, maybe we’ll stop settling for constantly finding ourselves in the same situations every single time. We are always breaking up and getting back together and I have had enough of it. It’s like we’re a living breathing Taylor Swift song and everyone hates us for it. But somehow, I don’t think that there’s equal blame here. It’s mostly your fault. I’m all in when it comes to our relationship. I’m pushing all of my chips into the center of the table. I’ve ripped my own heart out of my chest and I’m putting it into your hands. I leave it all out in the open. I say everything that I need to say. And yet, you still leave me hanging. You refuse to give me the closure that I desperately need to be happy. You refuse to give me the commitment that this relationship needs for it to work. And then I tell you that I can’t accept the fact that you’re not all in. And then you come creeping into my life again and you make all these promises which you end up breaking anyway. And I fall for these promises every single time.

But it stops now. I’m not falling for it anymore. I’ve become familiar with all of your little moves. The way that you low-key start liking my photos on social media; how you start commenting on my posts. Then you become a little more aggressive and you send me those text messages telling me that you miss me and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to win me back. I’m not going to allow myself to be the victim anymore. I’m not going to allow myself to play the fool. Consider this to be the ultimatum. I’m not stupid. I’m smart and I know that I deserve a whole lot better than you have ever given me since we’ve met. I’m not going to allow myself to become the idiot. I’m not an idiot. And you have no right to keep on making me feel like I am one.

No more excuses. I’m not going to buy any of them anymore. It’s either you’re in completely or your out. There is no middle ground. Nothing is going to be accepted in moderation. You have to either be all the way in or I’m not even going to pay you any attention anymore. And don’t tell me that you don’t have the time for a serious relationship right now. You can always make the time. That’s what people do in life. They actually make the time for the things that matter most to them. They actually carve time out of their busy schedules to make room for the things that they prioritize. And that’s what I’m telling you to do. You have to start prioritizing me because as far as I’m concerned, I am the only one who has been prioritizing our relationship since the start and it’s never going to work out unless it’s going to be a shared effort between the both of us. I don’t care that you have your own social life that you have to worry about. I have a social life too, but I still managed to make time for you. We can make things easier by merging our social lives. I don’t care that you have a career that you need to focus on. I have a few important life choices that I need to make work for myself too. But that doesn’t mean that I can be halfhearted in my efforts to love you. I can still be a hardworking career person and someone who’s madly in love with you at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive. It’s possible for you to still maintain your sense of individuality the life that you want for yourself while simultaneously dating me in the process. We can make a few compromises here and there just to make things work. But if you’re not willing to make compromises for me, then I’m bolting.

I am an independent and strong human being. I am perfectly capable of pursuing all of my dreams and my goals without you. But I choose not to if I have the choice. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you. But the ball is in your court. I can’t be there for you if you won’t let me. I can’t love you if you won’t love me the same way in return. I can’t be the person you need me to be for you if you can’t be the person that I need you to be for me. So take this seriously. Be my forever or you’re never going to see me again.

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