I wanted to hang on to an abusive relationship due to false hope
In the 21st century, everyone gets so busy making their career that they forget everything about having a strong relationship with someone.В Especially when it comes to women. When the right guy comes and they are just getting older and older, they do not think too much and they go with it because eventually, we will need to have a partner due to the fact that it is a biological need not only a social need.В
Women tend to ignore the tiny bit of things in their partners which can eventually make a relationship disastrous. Saying no to something and especially getting out of an abusive relationship is really hard but always remember that good things do not come easy. You are in an age where you just cannot afford to let the guy go due to his mistakes and you are living in a society where people would get shocked after knowing that you aren’t married in your late twenties, or at least in a relationship.
One out of every five girls have been in an abusive relationship. Now what makes everybody wonder is that how can you stay in an abusive relationship? You know that your partner is abusing you, you know that this is not healthy for you emotionally then why stay in the torturous atmosphere? That’s not the case only with women but also with men. It is easy to think that only women have been abused by their partners. In fact, many men have reported that they have also been in an abusive relationship where the woman has been hurting them emotionally and physically. Physical torture can be seen but what is the worst is the emotional torture. When you go to the doctor, the doctor cannot easily see your emotional bruises, your emotional wounds. Physical bruises can be seen and reported in a medical report but what about the emotional abuse?
Of course, there are experts who can detect such emotional problems, but such experts are not always there in your life. What about your close friends, family and all those others who are close to you? They cannot see it and no one but yourself knows that you aren’t okay.
As mentioned earlier, it really is hard to come out of it but if you follow a few advices then it will be easier and you will surely come out of it. It will not be easy because no good thing is achieved easily, but this is what I can promise that it will be worth every second of the effort you make.
1. Start sharing with your closest friends and family members:
This move would not be easy because sometimes your partner presents him or herself as such an amazing person that even your closest friends would have a hard time in believing that you are the one who is being tortured. You can start this by mentioning how emotionally broken you feel. Start showing them tiny bits of proofs because it is not easy to break someone’s super good image.
Once you start to have their confidence, you can go ahead and start to take a stand for your own self. You get the feeling of security when you have your backup, this will make you slightly fearless, you will be confident in your own self and you will know that you have people for you who care for your well-being.В Once you complete this step, then comes the next step which is mentioned in the heading below.
2. Learn to say NO’ irrespective of what comes ahead:
Saying ‘no’ is really important. Some people do not realize the importance of saying no to the unreasonable demands of your partner. Once you share things with your friends and family, you just have to start saying no to the irrational demands of your partner. You have to start telling them that they are wrong and you are right. Even realistically, no person can be right all the time.
The thing about abusive partners is that their anger is triggered when they are not being listened to or obeyed to. Once you start to say no then your partner will slowly realize or at least make it easier for you to leave. The one thing you have to keep in mind is that you do not have to be afraid of what comes ahead, you have to be strong and you have to know that whatever will come will be for the best.
3. Partner dares to touch you, tell them you’ll call the police:
When things go out of hand and your partner tries to hurt you physically, you can threaten them that you will call the police or you will call for help and that will ruin his/her overall image in front of so many people. Fear is a really good motivator, therefore, if you scare your partner, it may mellow their anger down. At least it will protect you from any sort of physical abuse.
4. Keep proof, like a recording or a video:
This part may be hard for you to do but sometimes it is okay to keep proof of how you are being abused. A proof would be good in your defence if things go out of control. A proof can either be a voice recording, photographs, a video recording, a text message or even a call recording. This will be beneficial for you when people would not believe you and would take the side of your partner.
Many people have been in an abusive relationship, so you do not have to fear if you have been in such a relationship too. You just have to take a stand for yourself because after all, in this world it is just you who has to take care of your own self, others will also take care of you but not to an extent where they would guard you and your emotional well-being.
How have those points helped you in coming out of your abusive relationship if you were in one? Please do share your experience and let us know if this knowledge has helped you.
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