I Will Fall In Love Again, And This Time It Won’t Be With You
Sorry, you’ve lost your chance, I’m going to move forward in life without you.
We were perfect, or so I thought. We were not perfect! I was naГЇve. I was dumb enough to put my faith in all of your words. The words you never meant.
Your promises held no value, they were as empty as your words. You made me feel secure by giving me a commitment when you never planned to see it through. Well, I blame myself a little too because deep down, I always knew that you are not healthy for me and I will end up getting hurt. I did not listen to my mind and chose to follow my heart.
Yes, there were many signs, there were many instances where I should have walked away but I chose to forgive you every time and welcomed you back with open arms. I accepted you unconditionally with both the good things and the bad. In return, I only asked for your companionship and constant consideration. Instead, you played my hot and cold without ever caring about how your actions affected me.
I was always last in your list of priorities. I suffered, I adapted and I compromised even though I knew that this person isn’t me. Why did I do all that for you? Because I was imprudent enough to fall in love with you in the first place.
What made me hate myself more was the fact that for a long time I wanted you to return. I wanted the possible future that we had planned together. For a while, I missed you. For a while, I missed the emotional abuse. For a while, I started to believe that a little happiness is better than no happiness.
You gave me that little happiness but you made sure you give me twice the pain in return. Was it worth it? It wasn’t but I started to believe that maybe it was worth it, that maybe this is how my life is supposed to me and you were the best I could get. I couldn’t me more wrong! Nobody deserves to live like that and nobody deserves a cold, callous and selfish person like you.
It was a destructive relationship and to some level, we both knew it. I let you take over my existence and destroy it slowly until there was nothing left to destroy, that is when you started getting bored with me and why wouldn’t you? You had your fun, you took over my being and you destroyed it completely leaving no trace of my self-worth or self-reliance. Were you proud of yourself? You made sure that you leave a mark on my soul but little did you knew that I am strong enough to survive anything. Even you! I survived you.В – Continue reading on the next page
I had been mad at you for a long time. Mad at you for not providing me with the things that you promised, for not giving me the life that you made me dream. I was mad at you for never considering my feelings and for never apologizing for your actions.
But now, I’ve realized that it isn’t healthy for me to hold on to the anger and I have realized that you are not worth it. So, I am done being mad at you and I am done hating you because thanks to you, I am a stronger person now and I will never let anyone treat me in the way you treated me.
Our memories have grown inside of me like a cancerous tumor but it is time for me to cut the tumor out before it kills me. But you know? After all this time, the tumor feels like a part of my being which is why, it is so weird for me to be saying goodbye to you for good!
Today, I feel nothing for you. No love, no pain and no anger. If you were to come in front of me right this second, I would just look at you like I would at any stranger. You no longer have an emotional hold on me and you no longer occupy my thoughts. Today, I am finally over you. The storm is over and a new dawn emerges. I survived the storm! Yes, my ship wrecked and I have to swim for hours to reach the shore but I am stronger now, my arms can carry me further now and most importantly, I have learned to trust my gut instincts.
I am not hopeless anymore but quite the opposite. I believe that I will fall in love again. Real love! The love that makes you whole. I will fall in love when the time is right. I will fall in love when I find someone who doesn’t even have the traces of your egocentric personality.
I will fall for someone who considers me at every step and is always careful of how their actions affect me. I will fall in love because you only fall in consummating love once and my love for you wasn’t it!