A lot of women make the mistake of not taking into consideration a man’s sexual tendencies and performance when deliberating the idea of marriage. The truth is that a lot of marriages really rely on having a healthy and active sex life. Sex is very important for a lot of modern relationships – and to undermine the value of sex in a lifelong romance would be a big mistake. You have to remember that sex is the ultimate manifestation of physical intimacy and passion between two people in a relationship. You are never going to feel as connected to your partner as you would when you’re having sex. And that’s just fact.
So it’s very important that you pay attention to the little habits that your man might have in the bedroom. The way that he treats you in a sexual setting can be a great gauge of how compatible you really are as a couple. It can be a great gauge for how much he really loves you and how much he cares about meeting your personal needs and expectations. And that’s vital in a long-term relationship. If he’s concerned about meeting your personal needs and expectations in the bedroom;
then it’s highly likely that he’s going to do the same in nonsexual settings as well. It’s likely that you have a guy who really understands his responsibility in making sure that you are always happy; and that your needs and expectations are constantly being met. So if you notice that your man is actually willing to do these 8 things for you in the bedroom, then you should probably marry him. He’s definitely a keeper and you shouldn’t let him go.
1. He kisses you a lot.
A kiss is great. Not only is it the most effective way to get two people in the mood; but it’s really the best thing that couples can do with their mouths other than talking to one another. When he really puts a lot of his time and effort into kissing you, then you know that you have a man who genuinely adores you.
2. He never forces you into doing it unless you genuinely want to.
He respects you as a human being. He doesn’t see you as a mere object for sexual pleasure that he can take advantage of whenever he wants. He acknowledges that you are a mature individual who should have full control over what you should do with your body. And he is never going to guilt or pressure you into doing it with him even when you don’t want to.
3. He really takes his time with the foreplay.
He understands that you enjoy foreplay; he also understands that foreplay is only fair because it takes much longer for girls to get aroused than it does with boys. And he’s always going to do his best to make sure that you feel fulfilled and happy during sex. If that means he’s going to have to extend the time for foreplay, he would have no problems doing so.
4. He asks you if he’s doing what you want him to do.
He is constantly making sure that you are an active participant; that you get a say in how the sex turns out. He doesn’t want to be selfish by taking full control all of the time.
5. He lets you rest on his chest when you’re done with the deed.
He wants you to be comfortable. And he is subtly letting you know that you can always find comfort and security in him; that he is always going to be a kind of sanctuary for you.
6. He opens up to you about his sexual fantasies.
It’s not always so easy for men to open up about weird sexual fantasies. There’s still a certain vulnerability involved when you’re choosing to open up about your sexual preferences – even when it’s with someone you’re already in a deep and loving relationship with. And if he is letting himself be vulnerable with you in this sense, that’s always a good sign.
7. He sticks around even after you’re done with it.
Just because he’s done the deed doesn’t mean that he’s done with you. What’s most important with him is that he gets to spend time with you. And so he still chooses to stick around and hang out with you even when you’ve both just done the deed.
8. He puts a lot of effort into making sure that you climax.
This is probably the most important item on this list. He really wants to make sure that he’s not the only one who is having a good time. He wants to make sure that he’s not the only one who “finishes” in the bedroom. He wants to give you a sense of fulfillment as well. He wants to make sure that he is able to bring you to climax so that you don’t end up disappointed or unfulfilled.
scares me reading this, words do not match the deeds….im praying a lot more now, i have been feeling this was the reality but fooling myself into the false hope and un equal standards of LOVE…not to mention that he is married to someone else but has been apart from for five years or so and in a relationship with me for 3.5 years now. idk when he may go through with a divorce or make priority marrying me. sadly im at loss to how he really feels.
He hasn’t gotten divorced from his ex and he’s been with you 3.5 years? That’s pretty much your answer there. If he wanted a life with you he would be divorced and trying to build together.
Divorces are expensive. Maybe him and his ex don’t have the money? As long as he’s still not dating his ex wife too that’s all that matters. You probably freaked this person out with your comment. If she doesn’t feel loved by him then she should move on.
With all due respect, I disagree. There are many factors as ti why a man won’t divorce his wife for someone else he’s been seeing for years. The laws differ in every state, and not all states are “no-fault” divorce states. His personal assists and financial entanglements could be complicated, not to mention if there’s children involved. It could be very messy and he could wind up an empty shell of a man after the wife got everything in the divorce. He may be trying to protect his financial assets so he can be his best self for the woman he’s been dating. A messy divorce really doesn’t really takes a toll on a man. It sounds more like she’s not asking him the right questions.
Although dating a married man will Alta’s lead to suspicion about him later down the road.
Wrong she didn’t get her answer
And until you know the whole situation Maybe you shouldn’t have said that because there could be several reasons why he hasn’t gotten a divorce they’re expensive not to mention all the mental emotional physical financial abuse and drama put you through and if it if he has kids oh my God what are the kids gonna think and what are the kids gonna be going through
Unfortunately divorces are ugly ugly and disturbing and complex and complex sometimes are easy if you’ve got a sensible husband and wife If not then oh my God it’s gonna be a whole lot of damage And he is building a life with her hes been with her for 3 and a 1/2 yeand a 1/2 years a year and a 1/2 after him and his wife split up So until someone knows how he feels Maybe when we’re giving advice we should put in there this is how I would feel or this is how I would take it don’t tell him that she got her answer or you know I mean because she really didn’t she needs to be honest with them and ask him why hasn’t he divorced her does he see a future and marriage in their relationship and if she cannot ask her ask him that maybe she needs to ask herself why she feels that she cannot ask that because you If you are warning a life or marriage with that person he is supposed to be your everything your best friend your enemy whatever you need invites a versa so you should be able to talk about anything at everything and if you feel that you cannot then maybe that’s something you need to work through instead of yall working through it I don’t know that’s how I see the situation on like I said I don’t know all the facts
That is not true!! I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and so very much in love with him. I want to marry him some day. I just got divorced from my ex this year. I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t pay for it. It wasn’t because of any other reason.
3.5 years is totally unnecessary
Dump him NOW!
Tbh it’s doomed from the start if you’re the second girl. Sorry
I don’t believe that for one minute. There is and are several reasons why him and his wife have not been able to get a divorce yet don’t you know that.
A divorce does and can take you through more Physical, mental, And emotional drama and feelings Then your marriage does. Cause there are so many unanswered questions Hurt feelings and that is if it is just the two of you if they had children you can just double or triple what yall will be going through.
Divorces are expensive, and that is just the start of the divorce. I can Guarantee you that there’s more to come. Than just the expense of the divorce buy the time you are though with your divorce and are gonna be so darn drained that you may feel that all you want to do is lock your door and windows turn off all lights so that it looks like Your not home and crawl into your bed pull the covers over your head and go to sleep and not get out of your bed for a good while. And if you have children it’s so much more. Like I said a divorce put you through more Mental physical emotional and financial Drama and abuse then your marriage.
I going through the same things as u, I know how it’s feels
Likewise wise
If he us married no matter what he still has a connection and that is why he’s not divorced. He may not realize it but he can’t let go yet and being a married man he’s cheating and you are wrong for being with him until he is legally and emotionally available. Sorry I was the wife my husband did the same then I did divorce papers 120 bucks myself and not just 2 months later he left her and came to me trying to start over again. No excuses for both of your behavior but he is at fault more be abuse he should never have pursued you until he was divorced. Trust me he is not over her, or he would have taken care of the divorce.
You know until you follow All 10 of the commandments. You don’t need to be telling anyone else that they are wrong about being with a married man You do not know the circumstances of why he is still married so you need to back off they may have Kids and if they do the parents are actually putting the kids 1st instead of themselves.
I was a wife 3 times and I had it happened to me with my 2nd 3rd marriage That does not give you the right to go and tell someone that she’s wrong for being with a married man Because he is just too much blame as she is if you come to if you want to do that Matter of fact hes more to blame than she is because the simple fact is you don’t know what the heck he was telling her when they got together. And even though you paid a 120 bucks for your divorce and it was over in 2 months doesn’t mean they’re all that cheap You were lucky
My husband now it took him 3 years to get his divorce and over $250000 later so not every divorce is the same
Sweetie you can put on here and get all the what you want and get all the advice that you want but until you have enough courage to sit down with him down with him and ask him those 2 questions questions then you are not fully committed or wanted the relationship to work either from what I’m seeing because because maybe there’s something there because if you want a life or a marriage with him you should be able to ask him anything Talk to him about anything he should be your everything your best friend you’re enemy just anything you need and vice versa and if you can’t don’t feel that way Then maybe that should be your concern more than then because all you gotta do is ask him those 2 questions it’s 2 questions and hes gonna give you an answer instead of Maybe trying to put some kind of conflict in your relationship that your relationship that you seem to really want just ask him it’s all it takes and if he loves you and wants to be with you he will answer those 2 questions And we have no problem in doing it but it’s best to do it when you’ll both have the time you’re not gonna be busy or doing anything that way yawkin completely concentrate on each other That is it is just my advice From an outsider and going through my relationships you can take it or leave it or you can call you can reply back and cuss me out But I do hope you can get what you want and work through the relationship because it seems like you truly want it with him and it seems like he truly wants it with you married marriage and life and relationships are work OK
I would ask him the hard questions. Is there kids .. A house .. A business .. Finances? If theres kids .. Is he waiting for them to be older? Ask him: Does he even want to be divorced? Im pretty sure he does if they have been separated for a year and a half and with you for 3.5 years. But . remember for a successful relationship you gotta be able to communicate 100% NO hiding anything .. Open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable IF you really love him n he you.
If he was serious about his feelings for you & they’ve been apart and the wife knows about you or knows he has been seeing someone else then the divorce would have already happened. Is he living with you or is he living alone? Does his wife live in another state? There are a lot of questions that need to be considered in making a call on this situation. From what I have learned from life is this…if he will cheat on his wife and not take the commitment or his vows seriously then you shouldn’t expect him to commit to you. I just feel like there isn’t any excuse for anyone to commit adultery or cheat on someone. Once a Cheater always a Cheater and if he isn’t honoring the vows he took with his wife then don’t expect him to honor his commitment to you. First off getting involved with a married man was your first mistake. If they are really sperated and have been for 3-5yrs then he should have already been divorced. Unless he is leading you both on and playing you both.
Wow, your the mistress my dear, your with someone else’s husband. He must still have feelings if he is not going through with a legal separation or a $400 divorce. Sounds like future faking- let him go and find a nice single guy.
Shame on both of you,IDK if ur boyfriend’s marriage was under Kristian law, if that’s the case!Nothing good will ever come in existence between yall.Dump him n advice him to fixed his 💔 relationship n hold dear his family.As for u, what’s wrong with unmarried guys?!! Find one, married one n fucked one.
I disagree. I have been separated from my ex for almost 5 years. We haven’t gotten divorced due to financial reasons PLUS we are still roommates for financial reasons because we own a house together and have a daughter together. I want nothing to do with him other than Co-parenting. I am in a relationship with the best man I have ever known. He gets where I am at. He is understanding and loves me. He knows I love him and want no one but him.
Sorry but you’re wrong for messing with a married man from the start. So yeah. This post isn’t for you.
He maybe married in the sense of paper but in the sense of real life he isn’t married…. He ended the relationship when he got with you if you try to push him into marriage you will loose him! Ask him what he is thinking or if he thinks you two will het married? You know sone people dont want to rush into a marriage when they have been there before and it failed… Communication is key!! You need to tell him the problems or concerns are he’s not a mind reader and men are lazy (some..more then others) If you can’t communicate you will never be able to have a good marriage much less just getting to that point …good luck God bless and stop worrying so much about what others think
I sat here reading my life in your comment only it’s been 7 years together and two children later. Still no divorce and all I have is animosity. I hope things worked out better for you my dear
“idk when he may go through with a divorce or make priority marrying me”
So you’re having an affair with a married man?
If you think he will divorce his wife to be with you, that will never, ever happen. If they are not together for 5 years and he hasn’t divorced her yet…
He will never get a divorce. I bet he’s still not divorced since this comment is three years old
The question is why hasn’t he gotten a divorce he might still not feel completely ready. Confrontation is best as communication is key. These are all just words, do what you feel is best
If ur with a man who is still married, maybe YOU should back off. There Should be no need for that confrontation. Homewrecker
What if his wife doesnt want to get divorce with him?even he really want it and only burden for him because his wife doesnt cooperate and communicate with him
Wow a lil judging to me. This is more common then u think she didn’t come in and ruin their relationship he was already out of his marriage for a year and a half before she got with him if u read her comment. So yeah everyones relationship or how they got into that relationship is diff so u should have kept that “homewrecker” comment out. People are so negative m but yes I do agree if he hasn’t divorced by now then maybe he’s not letting go of the past one idk just do what u feel is best.
She is not a homewrecker he was/ is separated from his wife, the home has already been wreaked, dah!
No one has the right to judge you or him, if you love him you need to have a heart to heart talk give him a chance to explain why he is not getting the divorce, he may truly love you and want a life with you. Give him and yourself the chance to have that together. Don’t let these people with bad remarks take away your happiness. Me I would pray and ask for God’s guidance. Good luck and God Bless
Your a fool! How can you say she’s a home wrecker?! Clearly you Didn’t read her entire post!!! Her boyfriend has been separated from his ex wife for 5 YEARS!!! She’s been with him for 3 1/2 years. Meaning he was SEPARATED 1 1/2 YEARS BEFORE DATING HER!!
It’s amazing how you try bringing down another woman when your not paying attention to ALL the facts! I’m gonna assume your husband left you for another woman and now your taking out your frustrations with this lady which is so unfair for you to do. How does it feel to be judge by someone else?!
Yesssss!! Way to go! I completely agree!! Love your comment!!
Love this! My EX, separated-legally &I have legal obligations that are being taken care of until 1 of us remarries or passes away. We do not have anything other than taxes/finances to take care of between us & that is it. It was finalized over 6yrs ago. We both have separated lived we are living. Neither of us were thinking about future relationships so it bothered neither of us to still be legally married. It is strictly for the agreement of finances. I am currently in a relationship & I made it well aware that I was legally still married & that it would remain that way until I either remarry or die. Nothing remains as of feelings between us we have gone our seperate ways. Some people just have their minds set that it has to be because its not really over. Well hate to squash your wild thoughts & accusations that there is probably still something there…
ask the hard questions get the real answers people. There is not always something sinister in people still being married but separated. You have to ask the hard questions to find out the real answers & determine if you can go on from there in a relationship with them. Now if they are hiding it for some reason you have major red flags to pay attention to & figure out. But just because they are not absolutley divorced & finalized doesn’t mean they are holding on.
REALLY why the hell are you calling her a homewrecker it takes two to tango. He is just as much to blame as she is but actually if you look at the time frame. Him and his wife we’re not together for over a year and a 1/2 before those 2 got together So maybe you are the one that needs to back the hell up. And yes for her there is a reason for that confrontation. So until you have been though this Situation in your own life and relationship or walk the mile and hurt you you don’t need to be giving advice.
I wanna know what happened to the golden rule treat people as you want to be treated no one is better than anyone no 1 is above anyone And no one has the right to judge anyone And no one has the right to judge anyone
The ignorance of some people. SMH She clearly stated they have been separated for years prior to getting with him. Lots of people separate but fail to do so legally. One of these days you might understand. Pray not though because it’s a tough situation feeling second best
You have it down to a science I am sure you are a good lover your woman will be happy with you forever
In egypt our husbands do the opposite of these article. 95% of Egyptian wives are not satisfied with their sex life
That is completely unacceptable!!!!
For so many reasons!!
I did all these
Those aforementioned still doesn’t guarantee a lasting marriage. There’s no rules to this game, it can cut anytime, infact it mostly cut when least expected
6 outta 8 I guess he’s a keeper
You’re the only one on topic with this article lmmfao awesome:)
He is a coward.
How he treats his wife is how he will treat you
Not necessarily people do change change he may have seen what he did wrong in his relationship with his wife and hes utterly learned from his mistakes people do do that you know and hes not a coward cause you don’t know his situation his wife’s situation so so maybe she quit calling people names you I can guarantee you wouldn’t like it if people were doing that to you treat people as you wanna be treated don’t judge nobody because you’re not better than anyone and you’re not Above them
He’s the homewrecker and needs to stop being cheap and pay for the divorce cheap online where you met your fbook dates 👍🏼👍🏼
If after all this time t guy has not divorced his wife it’s probably just for his children sake, I endured a relationship for twentythree years before igot divorced,only because of my kids and I was with no one during that time and still is with no one, sometimes it’s just circumstances,
Thank you well put kids come 1st no matter what They didn’t ask you to have them you had them so they conversed
If a commitment isn’t made between 18 & 30 months into a relationship, a marriage either won’t happen or won’t last. Statistics as cited in every psychology class at top universities.
I had a man who i wasn’t actually in a relationship with we called it friends with benefits and he actually dose all 8 things and most of all he always made sure he satisfied me and made sure he made me really happy in the bedroom and he didn’t care if he made me climax and didn’t cum himself as long as i did what does that mean
Thank you well put kids come 1st no matter what They didn’t ask you to have them you had them so they conversed
Sorry that was not for this post
Darn I JUST LOVE THIS! I totally agree with you!
Some real life things people don’t always consider when deciding to stay married and/or ‘putting it off’, in some jurisdictions the longer you’re married the more financial obligation you have to your former spouse for things like alimony, pension splitting etc. (depending on whether it is a first or second marriage etc); the situation of if something happens to one of the spouses, I’ve seen this happen a couple of times where one of the partners suddenly passed away and suddenly children, family homes, insurance and assets where going where they were not intended to go after a divorce was complete. One situation in particular a Mother passed while her divorce was in progress, her will indicated children were supposed to be cared for in her home by her sister, but because the divorce was delayed her ex contested, kept the house and maintained custody of the children that she had in progress as only visitation. The sister/Aunt was blocked out bc the divorce was not finalized. He got everything, insurance, property etc.
Also thinking about people talking about how hard it is to go through, understanding this, but it also will not be any less hard later and is only prolonging the suffering further into your more years of your life that you could be healing and truly healing and moving on to better things…. Just thought these were some important ideas to consider.
I’m not sure how this article about sex became a discussion about dating a married man. Morals are all encompassing, you either have them or you don’t, you have them in every facet of your life.
Being married is for life, it can be wonderful and it can be difficult. Do the wives know they’re husbands are involved in a long term affair with another woman? That’s the question! Imagine being that wife, being undermined year after year no matter what you do and not knowing why? It’s horribly unfair. Imagine their children, not being able to spend time with their dad because he’s with you in his free time. That’s horribly unfair. The husband is getting the best of both worlds, having fun, yet hurting everyone and not having to deal with the consequences of his own selfish behavior. I haven’t even touched on money – the money he spends on both worlds…he should save that money, divorce his wife and live his life in the light, with his head healed high.
Women that date married men aren’t thinking right, for whatever reason. It hurts everyone, themselves and the family unit they’re helping to destroy.
I need an advice for a friend please,she has been dating her boyfriend for a while now,but don’t know if her boyfriend really loved her because the way he behaves sometimes is alarming,they faith frequently and argues on things like… You went offline without any notice,you were online but did not reply my messages and so on…but the particular guy is a student they are but student the guy does not work but his father is a soldier but he hardly helps her with money when she needs it but he buys little snacks like ones in a month because she likes it but my friend thinks now that he can’t give her somethings she needs but it hard for him to make her happy by being understanding and caring,they was a particular time when my friend was having issues at home,she wasn’t happy,he boyfriend asked what happened,she explained to him because my friend was in bad mood she said he was just saying it to the point he can relate with and the issue she is having is concerning money what she needs at that point was financial support not advice that things will get better she thinks that the advice is too much she needed help…. after saying that ” he can’t relate with her instead of telling her he wish he can help but he went offline and later in the day he called her as if nothing happened… please what do you think in this situation
Because my friend has been longing to breakup with him but she has been hesitating because she loves him but he has not really being making her happy.
But anything she complains he will be finding faults in her own mistakes instead of correcting himself. Please I need your advice for her
A married man IS NEVER a viable option.