It’s been said before and maybe it needs to be said again. Communication is absolutely essential in making a relationship work. You can’t expect to build a long and happy romance with someone if you don’t have a strong communication game. And you have to remember that communication isn’t merely about talking to one another; it’s also about the manner in which you communicate and the kinds of things that you talk about.
If the only kind of conversation that both of you ever really engage in is small talk,
then you know that there’s something wrong there. You always need to be able to go deep with one another as far as your communication is concerned. If you can’t go deep with the person you’re supposedly in love with, then who else can you go deep with? That’s why you should never trust couples who are incapable or unwilling to have deep and difficult conversations.
The strongest couples are always willing to have uncomfortable discussions with one another because they know that that’s part of making a relationship work; it’s part of being mature adults who love one another.
So if you’re in a relationship with a guy and he’s unwilling to talk to you about a lot of these things, then that could mean one or two things. He might be immature and he feels that he’s incapable of having difficult and deep discussions. Or he just doesn’t love and trust you enough to have these intimate and vulnerable conversations with. Either way, it’s not a good thing. And you have a decision to make about the future of your relationship:
1. Your feelings (even the negative ones).
You should always have a partner who is willing to listen to you talk about your feelings. You are only human. And part of being in a relationship is having someone who you are able to be completely vulnerable with. And if your partner doesn’t make you feel like you have a free space to express yourself, then it should be over at hat point.
2. Your relationship history.
You don’t necessarily need to go into much detail about your relationship histories. You don’t even need to be talking about it all the time. But you must both be okay with having that discussion at least once. You need to look at a person’s past to be able to gain a better appreciation for who they are now.
3. Your sexual needs and expectations.
Sex is one of the most important aspects of any modern relationship. And that’s why it shouldn’t be a problem if you want to be discussing your sexual needs and expectations with your partner. You need to have a partner who is generous enough to acknowledge that you are a person whose needs also need to be catered to.
4. Your emotional needs and expectations.
In a relationship, you’re always going to have to bear with some emotional hiccups on your romantic journey. It’s normal. And whenever you’re feeling emotionally unfulfilled or weathered, it’s important that you are able to talk to your partner about it. You both need to discuss these issues so that you can find your way to a solution together.
5. Your financial habits and situation.
Money is important. There are those who say that it doesn’t matter in relationships, and thy are deadly wrong and naïve. You must both be able to discuss your financial habits with one another moving forward. You both need to be on the same page with this one.
6. Your plans for the future of the relationship.
Of course, you want your relationship to last way long into the future. And if that’s the case, you need to do some serious planning and preparation as a couple. If he refuses to plan with you, then maybe he isn’t taking you as seriously as he should be.
7. Your religious and political views.
If you can’t discuss the ideas and ideologies that make you who you are with your partner, then who can you discuss them with? You must always be willing to talk about these deep and complex issues with one another. It’s part of learning and growth – and it’s going to bring the two of you closer together as a couple.
8. Your boundaries for one another.
Just because you get into a relationship with one another doesn’t mean that you get free reign over each other’s lives. You still have to respect each other’s individuality. You still have to have your individual boundaries. And you need to have a guy who is going to be okay with talking about these things with you.
9. Your problems, fears, and worries in life.
You should always be with a guy who is going to make it safe for you to discuss the things that make you insecure in life. And he always has to do his best to appease those insecurities.
