Skip to content
Modern Dating

If You Experience These 10 Subtle Behaviors, You’re Being Gaslit By A Narcissist

Ethan Collyer Ethan Collyer | February 6, 2024 | 3 min read

Ever heard of the term “gaslighting”? It’s a tricky way some people, especially those who are really into themselves like narcissists, mess with others’ heads. Think of it like playing mind games. They make you doubt yourself and feel like you’re going nuts. It’s named after a really old movie called “Gaslight.” Knowing the signs of gaslighting is like having a superpower, especially when dealing with someone acting like a narcissist.

In this article, we’re going to explore ten sneaky behaviors that could mean someone’s gaslighting you, and we’ll share some tips on how to deal with it.

1. Constant Doubt

When you find yourself constantly questioning your own thoughts and feelings, it might be a sign of gaslighting. The narcissist may make you feel like you’re always wrong or exaggerating, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain about your own reality.

2. Blame-Shifting

Gaslighters are experts at deflecting responsibility. They’ll twist situations to make you feel like you’re the one to blame for everything that goes wrong, even when it’s clearly not your fault. This manipulation tactic can make you feel guilty and ashamed.

Turn off ads and enjoy premium for $0.99 a month

3. Denying Reality

Narcissists often deny things they’ve said or done, making you doubt your own memory. They might even go as far as to insist that events didn’t happen the way you remember them, leaving you feeling like you’re going crazy.

4. Isolation

Gaslighters frequently attempt to separate their victims from friends and family, which makes it simpler for them to manipulate and control their victims. They might discourage you from spending time with your loved ones or even spread lies to create distrust, isolating you and making you feel alone and vulnerable.

5. Emotional Rollercoaster

Being in a relationship with a gaslighter can feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster. One moment they may shower you with affection and praise, only to turn cold and distant the next. This constant cycle of highs and lows can leave you feeling emotionally drained and confused. It can also lead to signs of feeling undervalued in relationships, as your worth may be tied to their unpredictable moods. Over time, these dynamics can erode your self-esteem and make you question your reality. Recognizing these patterns is crucial to reclaiming your sense of self and establishing healthier boundaries.

6. Manipulative Praise

Gaslighters may use praise and compliments as a manipulation tactic. They might shower you with affection and admiration one moment, only to use it against you later by claiming you’re ungrateful or undeserving, leaving you feeling guilty and indebted.

7. Victim Blaming

Gaslighters are adept at turning the tables and making themselves out to be the victims. They may twist situations to make it seem like you’re the one causing harm or distress, leaving you feeling guilty and responsible for their emotional well-being.

8. Love-Bombing

Gaslighters often use love-bombing as a tactic to keep you hooked. They may overwhelm you with affection, gifts, and attention in the beginning stages of the relationship to create a sense of dependency, only to withdraw it later as a form of control.

9. Mood Swings

Gaslighters often exhibit unpredictable mood swings, making it difficult for you to anticipate their reactions. They may switch between being charming and aggressive, leaving you feeling on edge and walking on eggshells around them.

10. Conditional Affection

Gaslighters use affection as a tool for control, often withdrawing it as a form of punishment or manipulation. They may withhold love and affection until you comply with their demands or meet their expectations, leaving you feeling desperate for their approval.

Share Your Thoughts:

What are your thoughts on the subtle behaviors that indicate gaslighting by a narcissist? Share your insights in the comments, and let’s discuss the signs to watch out for in relationships.


Leave a Comment
Join the conversation — your thoughts matter

Ethan Collyer
Written by
Ethan Collyer

Ethan is a relationship coach and writer based in Chicago. He spent years helping people navigate the emotional complexities of modern dating, commitment, and communication before turning to writing. His style is direct, practical, and free of clichés. He covers everything from why people pull away to how to be the partner your person actually needs. Off the clock, he is a football obsessive and a decent amateur cook.