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If You Feel Like You Have To Say You’re A Nice Guy, Then Chances Are That You’re Not

I once went out on date with a man who told me that he was a nice guy; but that he had always been unlucky in love because women don’t tend to go for the nice guys. He told me that he decided to just start acting like a douche because these were the types of guys who seemed to be landing the girls. Of course, I was able to cut through all of this bull crap. I know for a fact that a real nice guy would never send me text messages late at night asking me to go on over to his place for a booty call. I also know for a fact that a genuine nice guy would never deliberately “act like a douche” just so he can land a girl. A nice guy is a nice guy through and through; whether he benefits from it or not.

I get it a lot from the men that I meet though. I happen to read a lot about the matter online as well. Nice guys finish last, they say. The nice guys never get to have he pretty women; the women of substance. But I know for a fact that that’s all wrong. I’m a strong and confident woman with a lot of depth. I have so much to offer the world and any man who is lucky enough to get with me. That’s why a lot of nice guys who have to say that they’re nice guys are men I don’t trust. I firmly believe that if you’re a genuine nice guy; you wouldn’t have to say it, you would just be one. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Of course, I’m not saying that nice guys are hard to find these days. I wouldn’t want to make such a generalization. I’m pretty sure that there are countless nice guys all around the world – men who are genuinely nice and who don’t feel the need to prove their niceness to others. And I know for sure that these are the kinds of nice guys who don’t really have to advertise about their niceness.

These are the guys who don’t expect any kind of recognition or reward for being nice. These are the men who don’t ask for trophies or statues to be erected in the name of their niceness. These are the men who don’t get mad at other people for failing to recognize just how nice they really are. They are nice without expectation or pride. Thy are just nice because that’s who they really are; and they don’t need any other reason than that.

And as you would expect, not all nice guys are created equally. There are different levels of nice. And with my limited experience on this earth, I have come to encounter a lot of these men. These are the “nice guys who are just completely clueless. They fail to have the self-awareness that is required to figure out who they really are. And these are the different kinds of nice guys who aren’t actually nice.

The Friendly Guy

First, there is the friendly guy. I met him when one of my closest friends decided to set me up with someone. And sure enough, he was really nice when I first met him. So I agreed to go out on a date with him. However, on the exact day of our date, I felt like I was coming down with something. And so out of concern for my own health and his as well, I decided to call him up to reschedule. And he started to freak out after that. I believe he was under the impression that just because he was nice to me, he was entitled to going out on a date with me regardless of how I felt about the matter. And that’s when I knew that he wasn’t really a nice guy after all.

The Drinks Guy

This is another nice guy who has a sense of entitlement. You probably already know the drill.  I’m out with my friends drinking at a random bar. And suddenly, some guy decides to buy me a drink. I could have paid for my own drinks but I didn’t want to seem rude. So, I indulged him in a conversation. And he was really nice! It turns out that he had a lot of interesting things to say. And by the time the night was over, I knew I had had a really good time – until he asked me if I wanted to go home with him. And that’s when the spell was broken for me. I knew that he was giving me drinks not so I could have a god tie; but so that he could.

So, it’s very important that you don’t get swept up in the charm of a “nice guy”. Because at the end of the day, a nice guy isn’t always going to make for a good partner.

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