If You Want To Be With Me, Then You Need To Put In The Effort

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I used to operate under the assumption that all men were like fine wine they get better with age. I sincerely believed that as a man would grow older, he would gain a better understanding of what it really means to be a person of value in this world. I used to really think that men would just gain a more profound understanding of love and relationships as time goes by. I thought all men were just destined to get better as they get older. But I thought wrong. Not all men get better. In fact, a vast majority of men don’t know what it means to grow and develop as human beings. So many men don’t understand that importance of personal growth and maturity. A lot of men don’t know what it means to push past their own personal peaks. 

It’s important to stress however that not all men are the same. There are a few outliers out there who give us hope. They give us a reason to still believe that men can be better if they wanted to. There are a bunch of men out there who really understand that life is a journey of perpetual growth and one can never be content with just staying in place. These men know that they need to constantly be working and hustling to gain for themselves the lives that they truly want. But for now, these men continue to elude me. I can never seem to catch them within my crosshairs. At this very moment, I can’t seem to find anyone who is actually worthy of my time, effort, commitment, and love.

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And this is the important thing to really keep in mind. We can’t afford to be wasting our time with just anyone or anything that just isn’t worth it anymore. We have to know that our time is valuable. In fact, it’s the most valuable thing we could ever receive in life; and it’s the most precious thing that we could ever give to another person. Time is fleeting and it’s not something that we can just negotiate for. It’s not something that we can just ask more of from the universe. It’s something that’s given to us, and when our time is up, that’s it. There is no bargaining involved or anything. We take what we get and we give what we can. And that’s why we can’t afford to just go on like this. We can’t afford to keep on giving our time to people who just don’t deserve it. We can’t be offering our time to people who would never give us any of their time in return. We can’t be so willing to just give our time to men just because they have a cute smile or a witty pick-up line. We can’t just be so welling to spend time with a man who has a chiseled physique and a strong chin. It has to go deeper than that. Our time is worth so much more than that.

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I really want a quality man a man who is actually worthy of my time. No. Scratch that. I don’t want a quality man. I need a quality man. We all need a quality man because otherwise, it would be better to just be alone than in a relationship that’s actually not worth the effort. We can’t just be content with being with a man who looks good as we walk down the street together. We can’t just be content with looking for a trophy man we can show off to people at parties and events. We need someone who doesn’t just look the part. We need someone who has the kind of personality that matches the exterior. We need a man of depth who can actually add value and perspective to our lives. We shouldn’t be so quick to fall victim to the aesthetics of love we need to go deeper.

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I’m looking for a guy who’s actually willing to walk the walk; not just someone who talks a big game. I need to be with a man who overdelivers. I don’t want someone who overhypes and underwhelms. I need to be with someone who promises me nothing but still gives me everything. I don’t want to make any more time for men who are just looking to play around. I don’t want to be with a man who isn’t going to take me seriously. I’m not looking to be with a man who is going to be reckless with his love. I need to be with someone who genuinely understands me and my personal needs. I need a man who can actually give the kind of effort that I expect him to give. I need to be with someone who is worthy of my time; someone who is worthy of my love.

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