If You Want To Get An Idea Of What It’s Like To Date You, Then Here It Is

Dating you feels like it’s really easy even though I don’t know what I’m doing day in and day out. Dating you gives me all sorts of happiness and all sorts of anxiety. Dating you is what it would be like to get hit in the head with a baseball bat only to fall into a lush collection of clouds. That’s what it feels like to date someone like you. 

It’s like a fairytale really. It’s everything that I had always expected and more. Dating you is just how I imagined the characters in those fantastic books or movies would feel when they meet the person they love. You always have this uncanny ability of making things seem so simple and natural. You always manage to bring a semblance of joy and warmth in the harsh and cold nights of life. You give me the luxury of being able to rely on someone to help get me through my most difficult challenges. You bring sense of variety and diversity to my days. You manage to give me depth, and yet you also bring me shallow and innocent joy. You manage to keep things light but you are always very serious about loving me. You make me feel anxious and excited despite the fact that I’m perfectly comfortable in your arms. You make me feel like I’m home even when I’m in unfamiliar territory whenever I’m with you. 

It’s scary for me, really. I’ve never had an experience like this in my life. It frightens me to my core. I can’t deal with this kind of pressure. You have made me love you to a point where I’m afraid of losing you. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. I can’t bear the thought of living a life without you in it. I always find myself double-checking what I say before I say it. I have to always overanalyze my words so as to not break your heart or make you upset. It’s stressful. It’s time-consuming. It isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I find myself breaking down thinking why it has to be so difficult. I am constantly kept in the dark and it’s of my own doing. I am always feeling insecure even when it’s all in my own mind. I don’t want you to think any less of me and so I try to be my own harshest critic. I want to make myself perfect before I can consider myself worthy to present myself to you. 

It’s the best possible thing that any human being could possibly experience in this world. Falling in love with you brings with it a kind of magic that not many people are ever lucky enough to be exposed to. I feel like I’m caught in one of the great stories of in the history of human civilization and it’s all because of the romance that you bring to the table. You manage to arouse the clich in me that no other people in the world really exist whenever you and I are together. It’s like you are the exception to the rule of having all good things eventually come to an end. It’s as if there is no end to the lengths at which you love me. It’s as if there are no limits to what you are willing to do just to take care of me and make me feel safe. But then again, that kind of comfort also brings with it a sense of insecurity. I fear that I’ve become overly invested in the idea of you that I’m essentially incapable of living a life without you in it. I can’t imagine what dating would be like if it weren’t with you. I fear for the day when I wake up and you just suddenly feel and act different. I’ve grown so accustomed to this sort of lifestyle and I don’t think my heart would ever be able to handle a sudden change. As much as I want to let myself fall completely into your arms, the fear of not having you there to catch me still lingers in my mind. 

We are a relationship of contradictions and I’m willing to accept that; and yet, I don’t want that to be the reality of the situation. I feel like we are moving all too fast and that we aren’t able to savor all the moments the way that they should be appreciated. And yet, I feel like forever is just too far away and I just want to be able to speed through the rest of my waking days with you. Dating you gives me the confidence to be just me without regard for what anyone else really thinks of me. But then again, it also gives me the insecurity of always wanting to please you; to never be put in a bad light whenever you’re around. 

Dating you feels like it’s really easy even though I don’t know what I’m doing day in and day out. Dating you gives me all sorts of happiness and all sorts of anxiety. Dating you is what it would be like to get hit in the head with a baseball bat only to fall into a lush collection of clouds. That’s what it feels like to date someone like you. 

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