You’re in a very emotionally vulnerable position. You know that your relationship is practically dead and you just want to put a nail to the coffin. However, you don’t know how to go about it because you’re too afraid of confrontation. And so you think about cheating on your partner so that you have an excuse to end things. But here’s the thing: if you’ve already decided that your relationship is dead, why would you cheat on your partner?
There are three possible reasons as to why anyone would ever think that cheating to get out of a relationship is a good idea:
1. They are too afraid of telling their partners that they want to end things.
You just might be too scared. You might be plainly uncomfortable with confrontation. You don’t want to have to be the one who initiates the breakup in a direct manner and so you engage in some kind of self-sabotage for your relationship.
2. They believe that their partners will initiate the breakup once they find out about the infidelity.
You don’t want any blood on your hands, so to speak. And so you want your partner to be the one who initiates the breakup. And you genuinely believe that the only way for you to make them break up with you is if you hurt them enough. And you think that the best way to hurt them would be to cheat on them.
3. They believe that it’s the only valid reason to end a relationship.
You might be plainly unhappy and unfulfilled in your relationship. However, you don’t really see that as a valid excuse for you to just end a relationship. However, you know that relationships always end as a result of unfaithfulness. And that’s why you think about resorting to cheating instead.
Whatever your reasons might be, you have to know that cheating to get out of a failed relationship is always going to be a terrible idea. Sure, you might get an easy way out of your unfortunate predicament. However, you’re just being selfish with this kind of approach. You’re not really taking into consideration the kind of damage that you’re inflicting on everyone else around you. You’re not really thinking about the pain that you’re causing to your children, your partner, your close friends, your family members, and your immediate surrounding community.
If you’re going to resort to cheating on your partner, once all of that relief and thrill is going to wear off, you’re going to feel an immense level of guilt. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to be incredibly anxious and worrisome about how everything is going to turn out. You’re going to end up regretting taking an easy way out. You’re going to feel confused and embarrassed about everything and you’re going to just end up hating yourself for putting everyone that you loved through that entire ordeal.
The moment your partner is going to discover your infidelity, it’s likely that they are going to feel the real pain of betrayal. You’re going to make your partner question the love that you shared and the entire relationship that you had. They are going to think that the whole thing was just built on a lie. They are going to be torturing themselves with their own thoughts. And it’s all going to be your fault. All of the damage that will have been done would be a result of your own choices and decisions. You hurt so many people around you just because you are too cowardly to take the mature approach to end the relationship.
Yes, you will get what you want. You will hurt your partner to a point wherein they will not want to have anything to do with you. They will grant you your wish and they will offer to terminate the relationship. However, it’s not going to look pretty. It’s not going to be a very amicable breakup. In fact, it’s going to be far from it. It’s going to be gruesome and emotionally violent. They will want you to suffer for the pain that you have caused them. And you will risk gaining an enemy for life because of what you’ve done.
And think about the damage that you’re causing to yourself also. Think about your future. Think about your reputation. Do you think anyone is going to be on your side after this? Do you think that anyone would ever want to take a risk on falling in love with you ever again? Do you think anyone would want to be taking their chance on a cheater like you? The answer is no.
So don’t cheat on your partner. Just be mature about it and have that difficult conversation.