A woman divided people in their opinions by sharing that she is dating a man who earns ten times less than her, and her friends believe she should end her relationship with him because it would not work out in the long run.
Taking to the British parenting website, Mumsnet, the mum-of-three said she had been divorced and dated several men before his new relationship. Her boyfriend doesn’t earn a lot but still insists on paying for everything.
According to the woman, money is not an issue, but her friends think the relationship won’t work logistically in the long term.
“We both have three kids around the same ages, both have similar long term dreams and interests and just get on brilliantly.”
“I’ve been divorced for a decade and all the men I’ve dated have earned less than me and it’s never really been an issue. However, this is the first time the gap has been this big,” the woman wrote.
“A couple of my friends have insisted it could never work though. The concern is how it could work logistically in the long term. I have a really nice lifestyle (all self-funded) and although I’m not into designer brands or fancy restaurants, do like to travel to nice places, or to be able to enjoy some of the things a higher salary allows, like being able to jump in a taxi home rather than taking public transport, that kind of thing,” she added.
However, the OP said she feels guilty whenever her boyfriend pays for something as his salary is much less than hers.
“So unsure what to do. I couldn’t care less how much a man earns. He’s a hard worker and s great person and a great dad,” she continued. “I do see that logistical issues may surface in the future though and I’m not sure what to do about that. He does have assets. He has a nice home actually. He’s owned it for a long time.”
Reacting to the woman’s post, several commenters advised her not to marry the man as the salary difference was huge. They said the financial discrepancy could create problems in their relationship if she decided to marry the guy.
“Hmmmm… I dated someone who earned at least 50% less than me, no desire to do anything more to earn more,” one wrote. “He was lovely and it was nice whilst it lasted, but I quickly realised I would need to make either sacrifices and not do what I would like, or pay the lion’s share always- in terms of holidays, activities, dates etc. I wasn’t comfortable with either option and knew I would resent him for this.”
“It’s nice that he pays and he sound lovely but think about long term. Your planning a holiday you want to go 5** star long haul for three weeks but his budget is 3 star Europe for a week,” a second said.
“Maybe my opinion is skewed by a lifetime of relationships with low earning, low ambition men who seemed lovely to begin with but end up thoroughly taking the p*** and wringing me dry financially. Maybe he is lovely. But just be careful op,” a third added.
However, others opined that if she really loved him and he is a nice man, she should not end their relationship for money.
“I would, in your position. Money shouldn’t dictate everything. I’d far rather take the bus with a man I love than go home alone in a taxi,” said one.
“There are literally no red flags about this man, I can’t work out what the issue is. He is solvent, a homeowner, pays his way (and yours), has a great relationship with his kids and has loads in common with you and is respectful,” said another.
Let us know your thoughts in the comments.