It’s my choice.
I’m not a totally repulsive person. It’s not like people don’t like spending time with me. It’s not like people don’t enjoy my company. I’m pretty sure that I’m a joy to be around. And no, I’m not sad that I’m single. I’m not devastated that I’m not in a relationship. And I don’t feel lonely at all. I’m single not by circumstance, but rather, by choice. I’m single because I choose to be. And that’s something that people have just got to learn to wrap their heads around. It’s perfectly possible for someone to just be happy and independent as a single person outside of a relationship. I don’t need a romantic partner for me to feel fulfilled. I don’t need to be with someone to believe that my life has meaning or purpose. I give my life meaning. I give my life purpose. I am my own fulfilment.
I hate it that people keep looking at me as if I’m in dire need of their help. I don’t need anyone’s help. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I don’t need people to keep looking at me and think that they need to set me up with someone or else I’m going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I hate that people keep giving me words of unwanted and unneeded consolation; as if I really needed their validation to feel happy. I don’t need you to tell me that I’m going to find love some day and that I don’t need to worry. I’m not worried at all and you shouldn’t be either. The reason I haven’t found anyone is because I haven’t exactly been looking. And maybe the ones who have been trying to catch my attention lately just aren’t worth of it. And I’m fine with that. You should be fine with it as well. You should be worrying about your own life because there is nothing in my life that anyone should be worried about at all.
You have to understand that it’s perfectly possible for me to be single and happy. You have to wrap your brain around that idea. And it’s no longer my fault, nor is it my problem, if the concept just seems completely unfathomable to you. I’m happy. And my happiness isn’t dependent on how you think I should be living my life. And it sure as hell isn’t dependent on whether or not I’m in a relationship. I generate my own happiness. I rely on myself to make myself happy every single day. And I haven’t failed yet. And must I point out that there are so many people who are in relationships and yet still have happiness elude them somehow? Yes, there are many people who have found love and still haven’t found happiness. Love and relationships don’t necessarily mean automatic happiness. While one can contribute to the other, they aren’t exactly a packaged deal. So stop trying to sell love as the key to happiness for me. I love myself. I am happy. And when I decide that I’m ready to share my love and happiness with another person, I’ll do so. But for now, I’m happy all on my own.
I need the space and the freedom that the single life affords me to do everything that I want to do. I am a dreamer. I have big ambitions. I have high expectations for myself. And there’s just no way that I can become the person that I want to be if I continually let myself get caught up in the drama of romance and relationships. Not to say that pursuing love isn’t a noble pursuit. I’m just saying that it’s not what’s a priority for me at this moment. Even if I do manage to find love right at this moment, I will still end up feeling unfulfilled and incomplete. Love just isn’t on my list of priorities right now. But that doesn’t mean that it’s never going to be.
I just wish that people would stop babying me and treating me like some sort of sick person. I’m not blind. I’m not sick. I’m not disabled. And I’m most certainly not without happiness. I’m single because I choose to be single. And when I choose to get into a relationship, I’ll have no problems doing so either. Because once I’m confident enough in myself; once I get to a place of pure fulfilment in who I am as an individual, that confidence is going to emanate from my face like a white light from the heavens. And people won’t be able to resist the kind of passion that I will espouse in my living. So for now, just let me be single. Let me be happy. Let me be myself.
