It’s so hard having to deal with the stigma of being single nowadays. It’s just so frustrating – as if the integrity of my existence is merely tied to whether I’m in a relationship or not. I hate that we all live in a society that over-glorifies false loves and mediocre romances. It’s as if you’re automatically assumed to be living a decent life so as long as you’re in a relationship with someone – regardless if that relationship is making you happy or not. It’s sick. It’s disgusting. And I am ashamed to live among other people who adopt this kind of thinking. Others might say that I’m just being bitter about the fact that I’m single; but what a lot of people fail to realize is that I’m not single because I can’t be loved. I’m only single because I refuse to settle. And so far, I just haven’t found anyone who I deem to be deserving of my love and attention. I just haven’t met a person who has proven to me that he is capable of actually winning me over in love.
Yes, I understand how that can sound very cocky and conceited at first. It may be coming off that I’m a little foo full of myself; that I think that I am entitled to all of the best things that life can offer. But when it comes to love, is it really so wrong to be thinking that way? Is it really so wrong for us to want only what we want; and to not settle for anything that we feel like we aren’t meant for? I have so many friends who go down that path; people who just settle for mediocre relationships that give them joy and fulfilment. I look at their lives and I don’t want a part of it. I look at how unfulfilled they are because of the lack of meaning in their relationships and I feel bad for them. And I don’t want people to think that I am seeing myself as someone who is too good for love. I want love in my life. But I also want to make sure that I find love in the right way. I don’t want to have to force my way in. I don’t want to have to be making something out of nothing.
Love is a risk. When we fall in love with someone, we are essentially taking a chance on that person. Why? Because whenever we fall in love, we get used to a certain way of feeling; a certain way of looking at the world. However, love can falter. Love can fail. Love can change. And when that happens, we are forced to adjust. Sometimes, love can even force us to let go. And that’s always painful. That’s always going to be difficult. That is always the kind of struggle that most people wish they wouldn’t have to go through. But still, that’s the truth of love. It can rise, but it can also fall. And that’s why I only want to be placing my chips in those people who are actually going to give me the best chances at not losing it all. I only want to be betting my heart on the loves that I know have a legitimate shot of going all the way. But those kinds of love are hard to come by. And if it means that I have to stay single for just a little while longer in order for me to find that love, then so bet it. I would rather be patient and be single than to have to endure the loss of love that I know I never should have been a part of in the first place. That’s just how I see love now.
I have my standards; but they aren’t unreasonably high. They’re high; but why should the standards of love be so low in the first place? If you’re going to want to earn my love, then you’re going to have to be willing to do whatever it takes to prove to me that you’re worthy of my attention. You are going to have to be resilient and persistent. You can’t give up so easily. I need to know that you’re going to be the kind of guy who sits and stays even when life starts to get heard and rough. I need to know that you’re going to be the kind of guy who is going to be willing to face whatever adversities our relationship may have to face. And if you’re just going to give up on me just because I’m making it a little too hard for you, then I will have dodged a bullet. I’m not single because I can’t be loved. I’m just single because I know what love looks like, and I’m not settling for anything less.