I’m really trying to stop myself from falling in love with you. You are definitely someone who is going to haunt my everyday thoughts and musings. You are going to run through my mind until I breathe my very last breath. And if things don’t work out between the two of us, I will be absolutely devastated. And it won’t be with the kind of pain that is going to just eventually go away either. I will be devastated by the kind of pain that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
If things don’t work out between the two of us, you are going to inspire a lot of heartbreaking poetry. You are going to be who I think of whenever a sad song comes on the radio. You are going to be someone who is really going to crush my heart in ways that no one else would ever be able to. And even if the two of us don’t take a chance on each other, I already know that a lot of hypotheticals and daydreams are going to bombard my mind. I know that you are going to have a significant impact on me and that’s why I’m feeling so torn on the inside. That’s why I feel like I don’t know what to do. That’s why I’m feeling particularly hesitant.
I am trying to not fall in love with you because you have never really shown me any indications that you would be willing to make me a priority in your life. You have always treated me as if I were only in second place. You have always allowed other people, things, endeavours, and passions come before me. And that doesn’t really give me much hope about the two of us. I only want you, but it seems like you want other things. I’m only interested in you, but it feels like you’re interested in others as well. I’m so scared that even if you decide to stay with me, you would just decide on leaving me in the long run anyway. And I know that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the pain that comes with you leaving me. I know that I would love you far too much if you let me. And that would spell disaster for when you decide to just cut me loose.
I am trying my best to not fall in love with you because I would do absolutely everything I could to make the flame of our love shine brighter. And sometimes, I have a tendency to not know when to stop. I know that I sometimes overdo it to the point that I actually harm myself in the process. I sometimes give too much of myself and then I end up forgetting about my own well-being. And I’m definitely afraid that it’s going to be the same as you. Whenever I will feel like you aren’t really doing enough for me or the relationship, I will double or even triple my efforts to try to grab your attention. I will try to overcompensate for wherever you might be lacking and that might end up breaking me and burning me out in the long run.
I’m trying to stop myself from falling in love with you because I know that you would be able to expand my heart and mind in ways that no one else would ever be able to do. I know that you would be capable of showing me a world that I never would have imagined on my own. And I also know that if you decide to leave me, that would come crumbling down on me without any chance of my survival. I know that I wouldn’t be able to face a world without you by my side; a world that doesn’t have “you and me” together.
I am trying not to fall in love with you because falling in love with you would mean me actually coming to terms with the fact that love is real and that it can’t be taken for granted. I am scared that I will end up screwing things up for the both of us. I am scared that I won’t be good enough for you. I am scared that I won’t be able to do everything that I need to in order to keep us together. I am scared that my love wouldn’t be enough to keep the two of us together.
I am trying not to fall in love with you because I know that the love I would have for you would be far from the love that you have for me. And I know that that kind of imbalance isn’t going to be good for any relationship. I am trying not to fall in love with you… but you make it so hard not to.
