Why Smart and Independent People Have a Tougher Time Finding The Perfect One

Love, as we speak about, is taken as a Disney fairytale duet where the birds and the trees are in complete harmony with you and your relationship. You two are completely in love No one goes to work, Cinderella doesn’t have dishes to wash anymore, Prince Charming couldn’t care less about his Kingdom, even then the house is dirt-free and the bills get paid monthly.В If only that happened in real life!

Over the years we have over-fantasised love and romance. Romance is no more a kiss on the forehead or a favorite-songs-burnt-on the-CD. It isn’t love till you get her a bouquet of flowers or you haven’t slept with him a couple of times.

We have over-complicated love by expecting too much, as if there weren’t complications in our routine lives. We think too much of the intricacies of the relationship, we constantly try and perfect them. We are consciously or subconsciously constantly judging our own relationship and comparing it with those around us and that’s where we screw it all (excuse my language, but that kind of stuff comes from the heart).

Love is the balance of a little magic/faith/belief (whatever you like to call it) and a little bit of realistic understanding. Strike the balance and you will have it all.В Smarter and more independent people are even further complicated in their heads with such things. They are used to thinking too realistically, again, losing that balance. Small things get to them so much that when the big issues come face to face with them, they can’t really do it.

Here are some common issues that smarter and independent people face that ruin their relationship.


It is hard for us to get out of the bubble of old/archaic thoughts and start accepting new thoughts. Such people have never depended on others, thus when they do and sometimes get disappointed, it’s a huge thing for them. Getting disappointed is not a familiar feeling for them and they are immediately sent into the survival mode where, for them, the best option is to ‘ABORT MISSION!’

They think – "why take more disappointments? We were happier on our own."В What they don’t realise is that humans were made to depend on each other. The first man on earth needed a woman. No one can really survive on their own for life, so depending is something to cherish. Sure, it brings a few disappointments but that’s all right. Sometimes, you need to face the bad so you can appreciate the truth.
Also, in exchange of those little disappointments, that will not seem big after some time, you will get countless and priceless memories and love to cherish. I say it’s a pretty good deal.

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As weird as it sounds, intellectual frequency matters more than emotional and sexual frequencies in life.
You might enjoy the latter two, initially, but to really go a long way with your partner, you need to have a similar intellect.

Smarter people find it hard to be with someone who is not as smart as them because in the heart of their hearts, they will always regard their suggestions and advices as less important or appropriate for them to take. It might not be an issue with the other person, initially, when the smarter one isn’t vocal about it but everyone can keep their thoughts to them for so long. Once they get out, they act as poison for the relationship because who really wants to be in a relationship with someone who thinks of them as stupid?

What smarter people need to work on is patience and acceptance, no one is born with the same IQ or EQs. What smart people might be bad at, less smart people would be good at and vice versa. What I am trying to say is that smarter people can easily take this as an opportunity to balance their lives out. Fill the gaps in someone else’s life and let the gaps of their lives be filled by them.

Eventually, it all comes down to acceptance and your ability to accept people who are different from you. Willingly, if you try to understand someone, you will see the good in them and will find them perfect. So let go of the thoughts that have been destroying your past relationships and let go of that idealistic approach towards finding a partner. No one’s perfect, not even you, so start accepting people the way they are and you will find life as a much more happy and satisfying thing.

Talk to me

Are you more of an intellectual person than your partner? How has that affected your love life? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!

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