You always expected the best in people, but you were always prepared for the worst.
You are a strong and independent person who is fully capable of taking care of yourself. You are free to make your own choices that directly impact the course of your life. You have the willpower to actually stand up for yourself whenever the need arises. You have the smarts that it takes to outwit and outmaneuver every hurdle that life is going to throw your way. You are pretty confident in your own capabilities to live life and face the challenges that come with it. You know that the strength that you have is the rare kind and it isn’t one that should be taken for granted or used for evil. You have a social responsibility to yourself and to those who are less independent than you are. You know what it means to build yourself into a machine that is capable of standing up to the trials of the universe.
This is how you have always been; ever since you were born, you have always been molded to be the kind of person who can get buy on one’s own. You were never taught to be dependent or reliant on the kindness of others. You always expected the best in people, but you were always prepared for the worst. You knew that no one was going to have your back as much as you do. You don’t hesitate whenever life forces you to face challenges and difficulties alone because you have been prepared for such circumstances. Your mind is always at work. You are constantly seeking new means to improve yourself as a human being. You never want to be caught off guard and so you want to make sure that you have all bases covered. You want to take a huge bite out of the world and leave your mark even if it means that you have to go through everything by yourself. You have lots of dreams and you aren’t one who is known to back down from anything. You know what you want and you are never afraid to go after it.
But then, there is the other side of you: the one that people rarely ever see because you choose to hide it from them. You have your emotional side. These emotions stem from your deep passion. It’s this passion that forces you to always fall in love very deeply without malice or reservations. You always fall in love wholeheartedly without any doubts or parachutes. Your passion is what fuels the fire of your emotions and sometimes, this can be both an asset and a curse. It’s an asset because you know that it’s your passion that drives your will to pursue excellence; to always be strong in the face of adversity. But it’s also your passion that leaves you feeling emotionally vulnerable to other people. You are the type of person whose insides are totally messed up by the feeling of love and affection. It’s like a hurricane of emotions whirling up about your gut whenever you fall in love with someone. Typically, you are a strong and independent person, but love has the power to cripple you to the point of willful reliance on another. You now allow yourself to become somewhat dependent on another person because of your love and this messes you up. It goes against everything that you are and that you represent and yet, it also doesn’t.
This is just the way that you fall in love. You fall in love with a passion that is so bright and blinding, you are often left disoriented and anxious. You feel like the uncertainty is eventually going to break you and you won’t know what to do with yourself when it happens. You are always so used to keeping everything about yourself under control, but when it comes to love, it’s as if everything is reduced to sheer pandemonium and you can do nothing to appease the situation.
Out of this experience, you desire only two things you still want to be your strong, independent, and self-reliant self; and you also want to be able to fall in love. You want both things even though at face value, they seem like mutually exclusive items. But it doesn’t have to be. You have to remember that being independent doesn’t mean voiding yourself of emotions. Being independent means being able to stand up to whatever the universe hurls at you in spite of your emotions. Being independent means being in touch with your emotions and knowing how to act on them with grace and poise. Being independent means allowing yourself to take the risk of falling in love because even if things don’t work out in the end, you know that you still have the strength to pick yourself back up again.
