Just Because You’ve Been Hurt In The Past Doesn’t Mean You Get To Hurt Other People Too

The happiness of others doesn’t invalidate your own pain and struggles.

You don’t always have to be put together. You don’t always have to be performing at full capacity. It’s okay to admit that there are parts of you which are currently in repair. It’s okay to admit that you are currently broken and that you are working towards being okay again. It’s okay to admit that you are in pain; that you have been significantly hurt by someone in the past. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for you to hurt other people in the future.

It’s okay that you’re currently nursing emotional wounds and aches. But it’s really not okay for you to be inflicting wounds and pains on the lives of other people. Just because you were toyed with in the past doesn’t mean that you get the free pass to toy with other people in the future. Yes; you can be angry that other people didn’t experience the kind of pain and torment that you had to go through yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you get to wreak that kind of pain and torment in their lives either. You don’t get to make other peoples’ lives a living hell just because you want your misery to be felt by all those around you. You shouldn’t be ashamed that you allowed yourself to get held back because of love; but you shouldn’t be cursing the people who are already ahead of you. You shouldn’t be trying to trip them up so you can catch up to them. You don’t get to do to them what was done to you. Life shouldn’t work that way. Life doesn’t always have to be fair. Life doesn’t always have to be balanced. Life doesn’t always have to be equal. Yes, it’s okay for you to take some time to recover and recuperate. It’s okay for you to say that you’re weary and worn out. But that doesn’t mean that you get to compel other people to wait for you. You can’t force other people to slow down on your behalf. You can’t force people to stop and wait while you sit and recover. It doesn’t work like that and it shouldn’t work like that.

Just because other people are living a high life doesn’t bring more shame into the current sad state that you’re in. Just because other people are happy doesn’t mean that your feelings of sadness and disappointment are any less valid or valuable. You don’t have to base your feelings off how others are feeling. When you are feeling broken, you need to confront your demons on your own. And you can’t bring any more collateral damage into the picture. You can’t let anyone else get caught in the cross-hairs. If it’s your problem, then you need to deal with it at your own pace in your own time. Just because other people aren’t going through pain doesn’t mean that you are a baby for having wounds that you need taken care of. The beauty of someone else’s life doesn’t automatically highlight the destruction of your own. We all go through our ups and downs. We all go through these stages in life. And it’s important that we take these stages as they come.

It’s okay to feel sad about being broken and hurt. It’s okay to be extremely disappointed about the pain that you have to experience. It’s okay to cower in fear as you look at the long road of recovery that has been laid out for you. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by everything that has happened to you. But it isn’t okay to wish that kind of pain on other people. And it’s REALLY not okay to bring that kind of toxic atmosphere into the lives of others out of spite. Deal with your demons on your own. You aren’t going to be able to conquer your personal demons by wreaking destruction in the lives of those others. You are only going to isolate yourself further and further. You are only going to end up driving away the people who love you the most. And in the end, you are going to regret ever acting that way.

So if you’re in pain; if you’re feeling hurt; if you feel like the whole world has come crashing down on you, just breathe. Take a look at the cards that life has dealt you; and even if you don’t like them, play them anyway. Play them the best way that you can. Make the most out of your situation. Rely on the people who love and care about you. Build yourself up again but don’t rush the process. Allow yourself to grieve and feel the pain. But don’t get crippled by it. Keep moving forward. Because what is life after all? It’s continuously getting back up after you’ve been knocked down.

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