We all really know just how great it feels to have someone we like give us their attention. However, over time, it’s common for people to take for granted the attention that their partners give them. You risk making your partner feel cheated and underappreciated. And that’s bad because this is supposedly the person who is going to give you the most attention is the one who is going to get the least of yours. And that is often what leads to the breakdowns of relationships.
Undoubtedly, the reasons that we can ignore our partners can vary depending on who we are and what our relationships are like. All relationships are going to be unique because of our individual personalities after all. However, experts have recently concluded that the most common cause of breakdowns in a relationship is when partners fail to give proper attention to one another. And while that can be unfortunate, here’s the good news: it’s a problem that is fairly easy to fix.
It can be very easy to become complacent in a relationship. Yes, the passion and intensity in a relationship when it’s new can be at all-time highs. However, when the relationship starts to stabilize a little bit, you might think that it’s okay to slack off somewhat because you already have some kind of routine or rhythm going on. And that’s a very big mistake. You should always be making a conscious effort to listen to one another; to be paying attention to each other. The moment you stop, you are effectively ceasing the growth of intimacy in your relationship. And you can’t afford to be doing so if you want your relationship to be built for the long-term.
Relationships don’t stay the same as when you start them. It just doesn’t work that way. Love is always growing. Love is always changing. Relationships are dynamic, and that’s why you must both be making a constant effort to listen to one another. It’s the only way the two of you are ever going to adapt to the changing circumstances of your relationship. Communication is the real way for you to continue to bridge the gap between the two of you.
It’s also important to note that there’s a difference between hearing your partner speak and actively listening to what your partner has to say. It’s easy to be hearing your partner when they’re talking to you. However, actively LISTENING to your partner isn’t something that comes naturally. You always have to be paying attention to what they’re actually saying to you. You can’t just be treating them like you would background nice. You have to understand that once the honeymoon period in a relationship ends, you need to really make an effort to go deeper with one another. You need to have deep, stimulating, and engaging conversations that will allow you to connect with one another more intimately.
It’s not just a matter of saying “yes” or “that’s right” after they tell you something. It’s about really trying to engage with them. You have to know that it’s vital to the success of your relationship that your partner is made to feel valued, heard, and appreciated. And that all starts with making them feel like they are always free to express themselves whenever they are with you. You have to make them feel that you are always willing to lend an ear whenever they want to talk about something.
When you have a relationship wherein the both of you are constantly placing the other’s needs above your own, then you know that you have a good thing going for you. You aren’t being selfish. You aren’t merely concerning yourself with your own standards and expectations. You are trying your best to meet each other’s standards and expectations as well. You are trying to meet each other’s needs so that both of you feel fulfilled and contented in the relationship. Neither of you is going to want to feel cheated in any capacity.
Sometimes, it’s all a matter of being able to tune out all of the distractions; and just focusing on the relationship that is right in front of you. We all run the risk of being blinded by all the flash and allure that comes with falling in love, and we end up taking for granted the essentials of it all. That’s why it’s always important that we see the love for what it really is, and not just what we want it to be. It’s important that we always maintain a healthy perspective of our partners and our relationships. You always have to be making sure that you are seeing your partner through genuine and authentic lenses. Because at the end of the day, you aren’t going to be able to connect with an idea. You are going to be connecting to the person who is standing right in front of you.