To some, love is the greatest power of all – it frees them, brings life to their dull skies, a form of self-discovery path. To others, freedom’s the greatest liberator of all, a skin they can wear and be themselves under.
Is it love to feel free with someone else, or freedom that instills love inside our hearts? Which matters more? Which lasts longer?
Truth be told, both are just states of mind and a matter of pure perception to the one involved. And yet, we all find it exceptionally hard in our relationships about what to pick: love or freedom.
Everyone goes through breakups and heartache. Everyone gets to taste that poison. But the chain of events which lead to breakups are never as clear cut and obvious to get at as they depict them in movies and pop culture. What leads to the disintegration of a bond between two individuals is much harder to get at…. much harder than the clichd reasons where someone messes it up; the guy left; the girl moved on and married; the guy met someone else; she cheated; he fell out of love and so on.
It’s disturbing how people wake up one day, realizing they don’t feel the same way they did for someone just a day ago, how abruptly they end things. Are there no alternatives? If you talk to older folks who’ve been in a successful relationships for the past 20 or so years, they will tell you they managed to make it work for that long because they decided to not throw things and worked harder at them. Love is never guaranteed, sure, especially when you have the rest of the world to contend with; as Lang Leav put it. If you love someone and are lucky enough to be loved back by them in return, why would you or your partner decide to walk away from each other just because you don’t know what future holds for you both? *Continue reading on next page*
And the future a tricky road indeed. It is a cloak we all have to wear at least once in our lives but once we do, it will show us how to mold ourselves under its warmth. If you are in a relationship and you fear the unknown, the ladder of trust you have built with your partner will help you lead the way into the darkness of that unknown.
Most importantly, why is preventing potentially great regret more important than saving their great relationship? Great relationships are a dying breed today indeed.
Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game author John Birger says there’s nationwide deficiency of college-educated men. "Across young people, age 30 and under, [there are] about four college grad women for every three college grad men." So women should expect steep competition if they want to date some guy who went to college, especially if the women themselves did. These educational expectations adversely affect heterosexual females. Thanks to the large supply of educated women available, men have "more incentive to play the field," Birger says.
From a male viewpoint, is it that much easier to hook the next fish? Dating sites brainwash us into thinking we’re missing something; social media fools us into thinking something bigger and brighter is waiting at the other end, just waiting to be hashtagged.
According to a recent Pew Research report, in 2012, 20 percent of Americans older than 25 were single, compared to 9 percent in 1960. What’s more, when they are in their mid-40s to mid-50s, 25 percent of today’s millennials will never have been married (and probably never will).
According to Pew, people ignore marriage because they are "not feeling ready to settle down. And that is okay because everyone has their own preferences; that is totally understandable. But love is a religion and when people in a relationship begin to lose faith in it and the very hope in that faith, freedom becomes their sole deliverer. They end things thinking taking their relationship to the next level will not be in their favor. Well, truth be told, the odds are never going to be in your favor, you have to make them.
In his well acclaimed romance novel, Master of None, Aziz Ansari writes thus: "When you’re younger, in your 20’s, the road ahead in your lifeit’s not as clear. There’s turns you don’t expect. There’s surprises. And then as you get older, the road just becomes a little bit clearer and you just know where you’re gonna go, and there’s less surprise and less excitement, and you see what’s ahead. At this age, it’s really intense. Whatever you’re doing in your life. Whoever you’re with, that’s maybe it, you know?"
The basic question that arises here hence is: If you are in the right relationship, why not explore the unknown, together? If you happen to be familiar with the theme and the overall concept of the 2009’s hit romance 500 Days of Summer, you would understand that yes, people leave and things change but that doesn’t mean the love once shared wasn’t real; it just means that when people grow, they grow apart.
Now why don’t you stop here and ask yourself this:
After you end it with them, won’t you wonder what you could have accomplished if only you’d taken that high road with them? After all, you’ll never know if you never try.