Another day, another man being uncomfortable around a mother nurturing her baby. Today’s Reddit story comes from the AITA (Am I the A**hole?) subreddit – where users post a particular scenario and ask whether they were right or wrong.
The Story
A person with the username Chance_Object_7968, which is now suspended, posted his question:
“I (27M) work a job that allows a very good amount of time for a lunch break. So much in fact that I’ll regularly head down to a cafe (I really don’t know ifs it a cafe but it’s about pretty small so yeah) and sit and have something while with the time I have for the break. Keep in mind, for some reason this place is almost always busy.
“It just so happened that today a woman (early-mid 20sF?) came inside with a baby and it was so busy that it looked like there was only like 2 open seats available, 1 of which happened to be the sit across from my small table. This women asked if she can sit at the table. The other table was under the air conditioner so understandable. I said yes because what harm would it have done otherwise? So a little bit goes by and her baby starts crying, so she takes a breast out and starts breastfeeding. Obviously I’m just avoiding all eye contact but it got so uncomfortable that I ended up asking if she might be able to see if she can sit at the other table. I’m just trying to sit here, drink this cup of coffee, finish reading in my portfolio and leave. The woman looked sorry and really just said she couldn’t and the baby was already eating (feeding?, idk) so I just downed the coffee, and started to leave. A few people looked at me like I was a douche and it’s been bothering me. I know it’s a natural thing for baby’s and moms and that there’s nothing I can do. I wasn’t going to try and force her away so I left. Was it to far to ask if she may have sat at the other table. Idk I feel like I was an asshole thinking about it now. But I just didn’t know what to say when a random women is breastfeeding 3 feet away.
Was I the a**hole here?”
The Responses
Suffice it to say; the entire Reddit community was against this man’s actions. For context, when people support the person who posts their story, they reply with NTA (Not the A**hole.) But when they’re not supportive and denounce the person for their actions, they reply with YTA (You’re the A**hole.)
Most_Poet wrote:
“Yes. 1000% yes YTA. This woman probably got two hours of sleep last night, has a crushingly awful mix of hormones in her body, she tried to escape and do ONE adult thing for herself, only to have to feed her crying baby and then you give her a hard time?
I get that not everyone grows up comfortable around bodies and nudity but bro. Breastfeeding is 0% sexual. And if it really bothered you, you should’ve moved to the less desirable spot. Everyone was looking at you weirdly because YTA. Please do better next time – she deserves empathy, which was decidedly not what you gave her.”
Waste-Phase-2857 wrote:
“And how ignorant can one be? You just don’t get up and move around when the baby already is feeding!!! There was another spot available, if OP felt uncomfortable he should have just moved there himself. But asking her to move AFTER the baby was already feeding? That’s an obvious YTA!”
Another user, munchkin0501, wrote:
“Why couldn’t YOU move to the other table if YOU were uncomfortable as opposed to asking the lady with something attached to her boob to just get up and move? YTA”
The comments on this user’s post unanimously support the mother of this story, and rightfully so.
You can read all of the comments on Reddit here.
Our Take
This man definitely deserves all the YTAs he received from the community. Breastfeeding is a natural part of life – a mother needs to feed her baby; it’s that simple. If someone is uncomfortable around it, they should move out of the way and think about why something natural and nurturing makes them uncomfortable.
Source:
What’s Your Take on This Story? Comment Below
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What she was doing was making this nice man uncomfortable. I am all for breast feeding in public but YOU can be consider of those around you too and cover up with a blanket or towel. I as an older woman would have felt uncomfortable seeing this too. Sorry but not everyone feels the same way.
I agree with you; that was my first thought. In the last few years breastfeeding in public has become more common, but the mothers have usually put a scarf, napkin, whatever across her breast out of modesty and/or consideration for others around her. I’d say especially proper in an eating establishment.
True. Breast feeding a child is a natural human nature regardless of where you’re at. The child has to be fed. If you don’t like it, don’t look.
I breast fed my children over 25 years ago. There were times I was out in public and had to nurse. I would cover myself because I was modest. I didn’t do it for other people, I did it for myself. It is a personal choice how a woman chooses to present herself when nursing. However, there are still a lot of people who are uncomfortable with seeing it. To me, it is their issue and has nothing to do with breastfeeding. I would get strange looks from older men when I was nursing, and I was covered up. I would ask them if they had a problem. It is sad we live in a society that is more backward than a primitive society where women walk around topless and nobody thinks anything about it.
If someone is “uncomfortable” with an unexpected happening then in this case I would have recommended that he not go out of his way to embarrass the breast feeding mom, but without upset movements, finish his coffee and pack up but NOT LEAVE AS IN A HUFF! Body language says more than words. I recommend this for all the reasons already stated by others of how hard it is, especially for first time moms navigating their ways with a newborn. Babies are meant to be breastfe, by the way,, Passes on immunities; help mom and baby to bond. Not every new mom has a relative or nanny and/or can stay safely at home with her infant.
Wonder how his mother fed him in public when he was a baby? I’ll bet he didn’t resist.
It’s not uncommon for men to be uncomfortable around open breast feeding. My aunts and my grandmothers all nursed their nbabies but in polite society they would through a light blanket over there shoulder and front to feed their baby discreetly. pulling a breast out and stuffing it in a baby’s mouth in a busy restaurant is not discreet. Discreet does hurt baby or mom.
wow men are uncomfortable around a mother nursing her baby but they don’t mind looking at the girls wearing string bikinis .You are the ahole .
Breastfeeding is the most natural thing ever and it’s good for the baby, and good for the mother. That said, in my opinion it would not hurt the mother or the baby to have some modesty. A small cloth diaper or light weight cover would make it more comfortable for the others there. In this case the cafe was reportedly crowded.