Yesterday a mother posted on Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ sub-forum and shared that every time she yells at her daughter, she insists on going to her grandmother’s house and staying with her.
Original Poster (OP) wrote under username u/Glittering_Sun_554,
“My daughter (6f) has recently been asking her grandmother to stay at her place often, and my mother-in-law just decides to TELL me that my child will be staying at her place. Now, normally this wouldn’t bother me and wouldn’t think too much of it, however, my husband said that my daughter has been asking to stay there because of the “yelling” at our house.”
“I will admit that recently I have been losing my patience with her more easily than in the past, so yes after asking her 3 times to do something I will yell at her asking her to PLEASE do what I asked.”
The mother said that her yelling was justified as she has three children and a husband to take care of, and sometimes gets frustrated.
According to OP, when she came to know that her six-year-old daughter was leaving her house frequently because of her mom’s ‘yelling,’ it really bothered her.
“When I found out this was why she was going over there so much I told my husband and my mother-in-law that it would be stopping,” she continued. “By no means am I a bad mother, and both of her siblings completely understand that I yell out of frustration from the lack of listening, they have admitted that they know if they just listen the first time to what I say I’m nice and calm and things run smoothly.”
OP further clarified that whenever she gets angry and yells at her children, she always explains to them later that her yelling was a result of their mischiefs, and the other two kids understand that completely.
“I’ve also always explained to her why I yelled at her after the situation has calmed. So to me, her asking to go over there because I yell is just an excuse. She isn’t made to behave the same way there as she is here and she knows it. I’ve heard how she talks to her grandparents and I’m disgusted and they don’t say a word about it.”
She added that when she stopped her daughter from visiting her grandma, her husband and his mom both got really annoyed.
“But now both my husband and my mother-in-law (who already hates me) are super PO that I’ve said she can’t go over there for excuses like this. I’m not stopping her from going over there completely, just stopping this behavior where she runs to them when she doesn’t like something to avoid dealing with the consequences of her actions at home.”
“So AITA?” she asked.
The user’s post received more than 7000 interactions and 2400 comments where the majority agreed that she was the AH.
“Wow. YTA. Learn how to deal with your frustrations without yelling at your kids. You’re an adult and a parent, you need to manage your emotions better.” A user commented.
“No one is saying that you’re a bad parent if you yell at your kids. But the fact that her daughter is six, asking to leave the household because of the yelling, and her husband also thinks this is an issue is telling that OP may be yelling more than necessary.” Said another.
“Lol. No parent is an endless pool of patience, my daughter immediately favors the other parent upon being scolded or reprimanded. So, kids know how to manipulate. But yes, mum already knows she’s getting angry more frequently and hopefully finds a way to be calm.” A third Redditor commented.
“So before you ask everyone around you to make exceptions for your bad behavior (based on frustration) maybe make some for the six-year-old, you’re living with. Yelling clearly doesn’t work, it’s time to do some research and try to understand why your child is not doing what you tell them to, then find a solution for the problem. YTA!” Someone else said.
Do you think yelling at your kids will make them listen to you? Let us know your views.
Source: Reddit
Nobody is perfect and moms has a lot to deal with and I can totally relate to this mom . We are loud at home and mom in law shouldn’t meddle on how mom manages her home and how she raises her kids . Her home , her kids her rules . When mom said she’s gonna change so let her .