A mom canceled her daughter’s birthday vacation because she refused to invite her best friend as she was too chubby, and her daughter thought she would ruin her pictures.
Taking to Reddit’s AITA platform, the 42-year-old mother explained how her daughter used to be chubby herself and struggled with weight loss.
OP also said that her dad and OP’s ex had spoiled her daughter, who took off before her birth but later came back to take responsibility.
“My(42F) daughter, Abby, recently turned 18. Her father Max (43M) took off before Abby was born and came back ready to take responsibility and the court gave him 50% custody. He’s been taking care of roughly 60% of Abby’s financial needs. To make up for the 5 years he wasn’t there, he spoiled her rotten no matter what I said and I think this is why she gained so much weight in her preteens and teens. Disclaimer: I believe everybody is beautiful so don’t come at me,” she wrote.
“Abby embarked on her weight loss journey a year ago, and we set up a milestone-reward system where I’d buy her a little gift every milestone.”
“Four months ago she asked that I don’t get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK.”
OP continued, “Fast forward to last weekend, we started preparing for her vacation. I called the other two girls’ parents to confirm the girls would be and learned Abby’s best friend Betty isn’t going. Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation so I asked why. Apparently Abby uninvited her because “she is too chubby to look good in pictures.’”
When OP tried to remind her daughter that her best friend, Betty, would feel left out if she wouldn’t invite her, she said she worked really hard to look good in her vacation pictures, and if she’d take Betty along, she would ruin her pictures.
“Long story short, I insisted Abby should apologize to Betty for body shaming her and reminded her how horrible she felt when people did it to her not even more than a year ago. I also threatened to cancel the vacation if she didn’t apologize because although I am glad she is so confident in her own skin now, it is not an excuse to put others down. She stormed off and went to her dad.”
OP said, “I later received a call from my very angry ex telling me off for making decisions for Abby, and using this as an excuse to cancel. He also insisted he pays extra 10% for Abby’s needs so he demands I don’t cancel. I told him off for enabling her bullying and hung up, then called Abby and reminded her I was not asking her to invite Betty if she doesn’t want to, but to apologize for how unnecessarily mean and hurtful she was.”
“She didn’t. Instead, she tried to get Betty to talk to me and tell me she lied about being uninvited and that she (Betty) canceled because she wasn’t feeling well. When Betty said no, she sent a ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults I can’t even write down. Betty sent me screenshots so I canceled the vacation. My ex tried to rebook but it’s a very popular place with a long waiting list so soon after I canceled, the girls were replaced with other people.”
The mom concluded her post by saying that her daughter and ex think she is TA for canceling her vacation, and some of her friends told her she should have put her daughter first.
However, she still thinks she did the right thing and asked AITA.
“My ex and Abby think I’m an AH for canceling the vacation, and my daughter is not talking to me. Some of my friends agree on my approach while others think I should have put my daughter first. So AITA?”
“NTA. Holy crap, your daughter is a monster. That is how she treats her best friend? Yikes….” one Redditor commented.
“NTA- that level of entitlement of your daughter is truly repugnant,” a second wrote.
“NTA – you are a good mom for this decision, it’s unfortunate your daughter is such a mean young woman,” another said.
“NTA Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first,” a fourth added
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