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A Pregnant Woman Tells Her Husband To Save Her Over The Baby And Gets Slammed For It

Relationship Rules Editorial Team Relationship Rules Editorial Team | September 1, 2021 | 2 min read

There are so many decisions to make when you have a baby. There’s more to having a baby than picking a name and color scheme. Do you ever wonder if there were any complications with your pregnancy? Are you going to ask your husband to choose your life over the baby? She asked Reddit what they thought about her asking her partner to save her over the baby, and shared her friends’ negative reactions

We don’t know if the story is true since it’s not verifiable. No matter what, it’s still a topic we think is important! In this situation, how would you act? There’s no easy way out. Considering the mistake of taking neighbor’s child can have profound consequences, it raises ethical questions about our responsibilities to one another. We must reflect on what lengths we would go to protect our own children and how that might affect our relationships within the community. Ultimately, it challenges the balance between parental instincts and the sanctity of others’ lives.

The mother was shamed for asking her husband to save her life rather than the baby’s

The following is her Reddit post:

Image Credit: u/Aithana | Reddit

Reddit post went viral and most people agreed with the woman

The comments on the post were generally supportive of the mother. “I strongly support this,” one Reddit user wrote. Women are not just incubators, but people in and of themselves. Any person or institution that believes the [mother’s] life to be secondary is a misogynist.” Others added that it is inarguably her body, her choice, and no one else’s concern.

Parents are certainly placed in a difficult position if they must choose who will survive, however, the notion that moms’ lives are not even worth considering is appalling. The Reddit user and her husband seem to have agreed about what they will do in the event of an emergency. At the end of the day, no one else has any say.

But more importantly, she shouldn’t be made to feel morbid or “negative” for talking to her spouse about things that matter. In fact, having open conversations can often lead to unexpected revelations, like when the wife discovers husband’s secret identity. Understanding the layers of their partner’s life can bring them closer together, allowing for deeper trust and intimacy. It’s essential for both partners to feel safe to share their true selves, as it fosters a stronger bond and healthier relationship.

“It’s so awful to think about, but your spouse should know what your wishes are during these types of situations. It’s just like end-of-life care, drastic measures to save your life, etc. where your next of kin should know what you want if you can’t. yourself,” one person wrote.

“Those conversations are essential,” the person said, “especially when you’re facing a difficult pregnancy/birth.”


Comments

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Melanie Byrne · October 6, 2021

I believe that this woman and her husband made the right decision and her friends that were so mean to her should be ashamed of themselves for what they said to her! Losing her baby would have been hard enough never mind dealing with those horrible people who had no right to judge! I doubt very much that this man wanted to lose his wife and raise a newborn baby by himself! All the best to this family as they heal from their loss of their precious little one.

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Daisy Marino · October 6, 2021

It’s none of my business but her and her husband. On that note if given the same situation I will surely lay my life and give a chance to the baby to live because I have already live my life to the fullest. In my belief this is how UNCONDITIONAL LOVE work, to give your whole life to the person you love without asking in return even if it means sacrificing yourself for a greater cause.

    V
    Voice of reason · May 21, 2022

    And leave her without a mother? I have friends who have serious issues because they grew up without one parent. Imagine your husband remarried and that woman is horrible to your child? I’ve seen that too.

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Rosalie Simone · October 6, 2021

I also have gestational diabetes, after finding out from the tests. It’s good to know the situation that I gave up sugar for the safety of the child and me. I started dieting and small portions, fruits and vegetables. Unfortunately, I don’t see why she didn’t do the test blood to know that if she has blood sugar and has gained weight and is in great danger. It is the woman’s fault that she consumes sweets or did not want to do tests. My opinion is to do the tests and find out the situation: Whether you have diabetes or not. Important safety of the baby and mom. I apologize for writing so rationally and it is very important to do something serious.

    J
    Jennifer Cordes · January 17, 2022

    She did do the test.

    V
    Voice of reason · May 21, 2022

    You’re just as bad as the men commenting on here. She did the test right? Sheesh.

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DavetheInsomniac · October 6, 2021

She’s selfish and reprobate. Period.

Fast-forward this situation five years. She and her child are trapped in a car filling with water, and her husband only has time to save one of them. If she said “save me, not her,” most of you (except for the vile amongst you) would be rightfully calling her a monster. No parent chooses their own life over their child’s. It is quite literally unnatural and disturbing, and shows her singular focus is herself and not those she purports to “love.” Remember, love is putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own.

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    Ms.Goth · January 17, 2022

    Not the same because if husband saves the mom then they BOTH have HIGHER chance to save the child in your “what if” scenario
    -_-‘

    R
    Rayann · February 16, 2022

    Ya it would be a guy saying she is selfish.. Dude you get no opinion as you will never understand

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    Tupoertea · May 22, 2022

    Have to be a male response
    You don’t have to go through the nine months and birth experience and live in the dark ages of women being expendable just their to serve their man and provide his heirs

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John Vivien Reyes · October 13, 2021

The mother is right. They can always have another chance to have a baby or babies…

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Jennifer Cordes · January 17, 2022

My midwife told me while I was in labor that my husband should save me. You can’t get another me but the possibility of that same person having more children is usually in the cards. I appreciated her point of view considering her whole life is devoted to birthing babies and I took it to heart. So we went with it. I had a healthy baby but I totally understood her point of view.

    M
    Ms.Goth · January 17, 2022

    I agree, it makes sense.

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James · January 17, 2022

Cool

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Jørjāy Tmãñütãrã · March 1, 2022

If both the father and mother agrees, I had nothing to say but it’d be so selfish to not save the innocent child

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Ramona · March 1, 2022

I believe this is a choice that the parents have to make and unless your opinion is ask for keep it to yourself. It’s hard enough to make these kinds of decisions and its not our place to judge This was not the choice I would have made but it wasn’t my choice to make. Both parents knew all the the facts and they made a decision that was theirs to make.

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Jasmine · April 15, 2022

No way man! Always Baby before YOU. End of story.

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Jam013 · May 22, 2022

She’s a huge a**hole. If she chooses to become pregnant and she’s overweight then those are 2 choices she made. She’s also selfish. Make the sacrifice to lose weight for your child’s health as well as your own. You choose to become pregnant don’t choose to let the baby die

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Tuppertea · May 22, 2022

I agree with her
She has one child that would have to grow up without a mother and a single dad should something go wrong
She is not there to produce children and forget her own life and needs

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Jamie · July 3, 2023

I understand her thoughts. I had to have an emergency c-section due to the cord prolapsing. I would give anything for my children. But, prior to knowing them and loving them, it is the couple’s choice. It’s hypocritical how people say it’s “her body – her choice” when it comes to abortion, but when it comes down to losing her life during delivery – everyone changes. I’ve had a family member die during delivery (with a midwife at home). She left a single dad with 5 children. The loss of the mother/wife is devastating. I know my guy would choose me, not because he wouldn’t have loved the baby, but because the baby isn’t born yet. After my children were born, I would have given anything for them (including my life).

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Relationship Rules Editorial Team
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Relationship Rules Editorial Team

The Relationship Rules Editorial Team is made up of writers, researchers, and relationship enthusiasts who have been covering love, connection, and personal growth since 2012. Based in Singapore, the team draws on real-world observation, reader experiences, and established relationship psychology to create content that is honest, practical, and grounded. All articles are reviewed for accuracy, tone, and balance before publication. Learn more about how we work on our Editorial Standards page.