Question:
Hey Relationship Rules, I wanted to share my story about how I’m feeling regarding my husband’s responses to my needs. I am a 34-year-old female, and my husband is 38. We’ve been together for the past seven years and have had a very positive and happy marriage. Recently, I’ve been noticing a change in his demeanor. Let me start by saying that my husband and I have always shared a very healthy intimate life together – but things have started to change.
For the past few months, he’s been laughing whenever I try to initiate anything intimate with him. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and insecure about myself. We’ve tried talking about it, and he said it’s just his reaction to the feeling I give him, but he doesn’t talk about how it makes me feel when he laughs.
Yesterday, he returned from work, and I wanted to be intimate with him. I wore his favorite lingerie and thought he’d appreciate it, but as soon as I approached him, he started giggling and laughing. What should I do?
Our Response:
Dear Anonymous, first of all, we are sorry you’ve felt insecure and uncomfortable with yourself, it’s definitely not a good feeling. Secondly, we think your husband is being playful, and his laugh is just a reaction to him being excited about what’s going to happen.
Our advice would be to not let it affect your self-esteem and join in on the fun. The actual problem arises when your husband continues to laugh even though you’ve told him that you’re feeling insecure about it and he still continues with his behaviour – that’s when you need to be a little more serious about it and talk it out. Communication is key when it comes to happy and successful relationships, and it can fix a lot of problems and clear doubts. Working on keeping a happy marriage is not a small task in any way, and problems like this one can’t be ignored if they keep persisting. If you are seeking to have a good intimate relationship you can read our article 7 elements that build a truly intimate Relationship.
But, if things don’t seem to be the way we are perceiving them, we highly recommend you two see a couple’s therapist sort this out. A happy marriage is worth working hard on, and you two should do your best!
Responses From Fans
One person commented:
“There is something really off – he may be having difficulty in performing and needs to see a doctor or he has simply lost all sexual desire with you, which seems strange if you two have enjoyed a healthy relationship – so I still would want to have him go to a doctor – you really need to communicate with him about this but laying all of your cards on the table, even to how this is making you feel as a woman.“
Another person said:
Try to communicate with him and see what is going on. Let him know how you feel and how it makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself. Don’t feel insecure about yourself as well. Your husband might be going through something himself, and if possible maybe he could go to counseling.
One more person was like:
Maybe he is giggling and laughing cause he is excited to see it. It makes him happy. I know when I do something seductive or unexpected my husband giggles alittle with pure joy and excitement!
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