You are NOT an option!
Don’t let yourself get sucked down that hole once more. Stop reminiscing about the good times that you used to share together. Stop crying over the memories that you are never going to get to replicate ever again. Stop allowing yourself to feel all the pain and hurt of a love that once was.
You still sit there and you think about all of the happy moments that you used to have in each other’s company. You think about all of the smiles that went from ear to ear; the smiles that gleaned a light of joy, happiness, and contentment. You think about all the loud and hysterical laughter that you used to share; about the jokes that nearly brought you to your knees in tears. You think about just how easy it was for you to experience extreme elation and joy; about how everything seemed so effortless for the both of you and it pains you to know that such effortlessness is gone from your life right now.
Here you are, wallowing in a well of your own tears; thinking about all the memories that have been filtered down by heavy emotions.
But here’s the kicker. These memories continue to bog you down. They make you feel like you can’t move on in the world. They demand that you stay in place and just accept the sadness before you can actually take a step forward. The vivid memories of the past continue to haunt you and they cast a dim view of the future. You’re paralyzed and you don’t know what you can do to fix the situation. But even after all of that, when you turn and look at him, he’s fine. He seems to have forgotten everything. He isn’t experiencing the same kind of pain that you are experiencing. He doesn’t have to bear the same kind of torture that you continue to bear. You wonder to yourself about why everything seems so hard for you, but so simple for him. How has he been able to pick himself up so easily while you are still there at the bottom of the ocean grasping for any semblance of oxygen that you can find?
You look back at all those moments when he gave you butterflies. You think back at all those times his mere presence made your heart skip a beat. You remember all of those sweet nothings that he uttered in your ear when it was just the two of you. He had a way with words and he always knew how to use them. He could invoke a certain fire within you that no one else could ever light. He always knew how to make you laugh, smile, and cry at any moment’s notice. It was as if he was an extension of your soul with the way he had everything about you all figured out. It was so easy for him to be with you. But why was it so easy for him to leave you as well? – Continue reading on the next page
All of the sweet nothings have now turned into bitter memories. All of those laughs have no turned into heavy sobs. All of those smiles have now become perpetual states of sadness. And it’s all because of him. That’s the power that he has over you. That’s the kind of power that you have given to him.
Open your eyes. You saw the signs, but you merely choose to ignore them at this moment. It wasn’t always a great time. It wasn’t always filled with endless laughter and eternal happiness. You know this. You know this very well. If everything was as perfect as you continue to insist it to have been, then you would still be together right now. No. Things weren’t perfect. In fact, your relationship was far from perfect. He had his moments of sweetness, but he also had his demons. His demons wreaked havoc on your soul but you merely chose to ignore it. Your kind and simple heart chose to ignore the darkness and focus on your life. Little by little, he was eating away at your heart, and you just let him do so. You loved him a little too much for your own good. You saw how devoted he was; but the thing is, he wasn’t necessarily devoted to you. He wasn’t willing to put as much time into the relationship as you were. He wasn’t willing to give you all of the attention that you needed from him. You always came in second, third, or maybe even fourth place. He had his priorities but you always tried to understand him.
But here you are, regretting everything that happened, but you have to understand that this is all your fault. You allowed yourself to become just an option to someone who you revolved your entire life around. Never settle for being a mere option. Don’t ever let someone take you for granted ever again. Unless of course you want to find yourself in the same spot that you’re in now.
