Whenever you abuse a person, you are essentially damaging that person’s quality of life. You are treating that person with violence and cruelty; and you do so without a care in the world about the kind of impact that you’re making. Of course, it should go without saying that abuse doesn’t have to be physical. And a lot of times, it can fly under the radar as well. Abuse isn’t always going to be something so violent and loud. It isn’t always going to be so boisterous and blatant. And these are always the most dangerous kinds of abuse – they’re dangerous because the victims often fail to notice that they are being victimized in the first place. And when you’re unable to figure out whether you’re being abused, it’s going to be infinitely more difficult for you to get out of your unfortunate situation.
This is subtle abuse – but it’s abuse nonetheless. Even if it’s silent, the effects can be just as damaging. And you never want to be stuck in an abusive relationship with someone. You never want to be victimized by another human being. You don’t want to live a life of torment and manipulation with someone who you’re supposedly in love with. So, that’s why you really need to make it a point to stay vigilant in your relationship. You always need to stay on top of things. And that all starts with arming yourself with knowledge. You need to make yourself aware of the signs of abuse in a relationship. So that the moment you spot it in your relationship, you can be quick to call it out and actually do something about it. So without much further ado, here are some obvious signs of subtle abuse in your relationship.
1. They act rude towards you without raising their voice.
Rudeness can be very obvious when it comes to the volume and tone of a person’s voice. However, it can also be very easy to mask rudeness with a smooth tone and a hushed volume. Just because your partner talks to you in a very soft-spoken manner doesn’t mean that they get to say whatever they want. Be very careful of the content of what they say more than how they’re actually saying it. How a person talks to you says a lot about how that person feels about you and your relationship.
2. They make jokes at the expense of your self-esteem.
They are always making fun of you. They try to make it seem like they’re such great people because they always manage to make the people around them laugh. They make it seem like they have a great sense of humor and a positive spirit. But the truth is that they are abusive people who say whatever they want without taking into consideration how other people feel.
3. They always find a way to make you feel guilty.
Even though they are the abusive ones in the relationship, they are always trying to make it seem like they are the victims. They will somehow guilt you into thinking that everything bad that happens in the relationship is your fault. And they do this to make you feel indebted.
4. They don’t really pay attention to you when you talk.
They don’t make you feel like you have a safe space for expression. Whenever you want to get something off your chest, they aren’t there to listen to you. They never remember what you tell them; they never keep in mind the things that you want them to hear from you.
5. They give you the cold shoulder when they don’t get what they want.
They are always trying to get you to do something that benefits them. However, whenever you refuse or fail to accomplish something, they are always so quick to give you the cold shoulder. They wouldn’t want to interact with you because they aren’t benefiting from you at the moment.
6. They make you feel like your complaints are invalid.
They are always going to find a way to make you feel like your opinion is wrong. You know that there’s something bad about your relationship; but they just make you feel like you’re being unreasonable and crazy.
7. They generate a culture of fear in your relationship.
When you’re in a relationship with someone you’re supposedly in love with, you should never have to feel afraid or fearful. If you do, then that’s not a relationship that you can be confident in. You should always be able to feel safe in your relationship. Your relationship should be like a sanctuary for you; it should be a place of safety. You should always be able to rely on your partner to make you feel safe and confident in your relationship. If you’re constantly feeling anxious and afraid BECAUSE of your relationship, then it’s not really a sustainable relationship at all. It’s an abusive one and you really need to get out of it.