I will not lie and say that I don’t occasionally think about the life that we used to share together. I happen to think about us a lot and whenever I do, I always feel a sense of longing and regret. I still remember when I pleaded for you to stay with me. I still remember myself begging you to not leave me. I remember telling you that I could never imagine living a life without you in it. And it’s true. I was frightened.
I was scared. I just couldn’t imagine what a life without you would ever look like. I look back and I think about all the nights that we used to spend together when we were madly in love. I always longed for the times wherein you and I thought that we could practically conquer the world with our love. I loved the moments wherein you and I could just be with one another and know that we were going to be okay.
I always loved the feeling of comfort, security, and safety that you used to give me in our relationship. I don’t think you fully understand just how much I remember and value all the moments that we had together. I always thought that so as long as you and I were together, nothing would ever be able to break me. I will never forget that phase of my life because of how much it really meant to me. You meant so much to me. You always held a special place in my heart and you’re probably going to hold that spot in my heart forever.
I just think that regardless of wherever I end up in life, I am always going to hold on to the memories of you. I think that however, my future is going to unfold, I am always going to look back and remember just how special you were to me. You should never believe for even a second that I am ever going to forget about you. You and I might not be together in the future but I’m not going to let you go. It doesn’t matter that you might no longer be a part of my life at that point. You are always going to have a hold of my heart.
When it comes to thoughts of my favorite things to write about, you are always going to come to mind. You are always going to be my favorite story to tell. You are always going to be my greatest source of inspiration. You are always going to be the person who made the biggest difference in my life. You have made a very significant impact on my life and no one is probably ever going to surpass that.
You are probably always going to be the best thing I have ever let slip from my fingers. But at this moment, I have to admit that I’m slowly accepting the fact that maybe we’re never going to be meant to be. Maybe fate has different plans for both of us. Maybe destiny has something different that’s written for me. And even though it breaks my heart to accept the fact you and I are probably never going to spend the rest of our days together, it’s something that I am slowly learning to acclimate myself to. Perhaps, it’s what is best for both of us. And even though it’s killing me at the moment, I have to believe that maybe the both of us are going to be better off for it.
So, for now, I am going to have to try to distance myself from you because this is the only way I think I can heal from it. I have so many emotional wounds at the moment and I really want them to cauterize. I try to not think about how well you have it at the moment. I try not to think about how happy you might be in your life right now. I try to focus on building my own life and fixing all the broken parts of my soul. I know that I’m currently facing an uphill battle but I also know that I have the strength and the fortitude to overcome. I know that I have what it takes to recover from this entire experience.
I know that this is a trial that is going to help me understand why things have turned out the way that they have. I know that somehow, fate is writing the perfect love story for me. And I really have to cling to that hope so that I don’t get consumed by my own negative thoughts. Sometimes, things just don’t turn out the way that you want them to. And you just have to learn to accept it and move on.
