Conflict. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also inevitable. It’s an uncompromising aspect of human life. As human beings, we are all bound to have very different points of view and perspectives. We aren’t always going to be on the same page. We aren’t always going to see eye to eye on everything. And that’s okay. Even though conflict is inevitable, it can always be controlled and organized. It can always be managed.
You are always going to have full control of how you conduct yourself in times of disagreement. But that’s easier said than done because a lot of times, we can get emotional during arguments. And our emotions can often get the best of us. We aren’t always going to have a good command over how we feel. And that’s why we always need to be reminded to keep our cool whenever applicable.
If you just happen to be one of those people who struggle with controlling your feelings and emotions, then this article is perfect for you. You will always want to be putting yourself in the best position to be well-liked by those around you. And it’s always important that you conduct yourself with grace and poise in heated situations. So, make sure to read on further about what you can do to make sure that you keep your cool during arguments; on how you can remain calm even when you’re getting upset.
Sometimes, it’s all a matter of gaining control over your own mind. Don’t lose yourself to your feelings. Don’t let your primal instincts take over. Let your sense of reason control how you act. And if you want to know how to do it, then seek the advice of proven experts in the field:
1. Really concentrate on your breathing.
Science has already proven being able to control your breathing to slow and easy breaths can substantially lower the tension in a situation. When you are able to regulate your breathing to slow and consistent breaths, you are able to gain some control over your heart rate. And when you are able to lower your heart rate during a tense situation, it is able to make everything seem a little calmer and less heated. That’s why you should practice a few breathing exercises whenever you find yourself in a heated argument. Focusing on your breath also takes attention away from your anger.
2. Focus on your body language.
Your body language isn’t always going to be at its best whenever you are stuck in a very heated argument with someone. When you are provoked, it’s either your body will assume a defensive stance or an offensive stance depending on the kind of personality that you have. However, if you make a conscious effort to assume a neutral stance; with you maintaining good posture and having your arms at your side; then you are able to make yourself more presentable and approachable. And that is going to deter the person you’re interacting with from feeling attacked.
3. Really make an effort to listen to what the other person is trying to convey.
One of the biggest mistakes that a lot of us can make in these arguments is that we assume we are always right even before the argument starts. The whole point of arguing with another person is to present opposing viewpoints to see which one sounds more logical and reasonable. However, if you let your pride get the best of you, then you end up drowning out whatever your opponent is trying to tell you. And when you refuse to listen to each other’s perspectives, the argument becomes moot and pointless.
4. Ask sincere and genuine questions.
When you ask sincere questions, you are showing your opponent that you aren’t just interested in expressing yourself and attacking them. You are showing that you are interested in getting to the bottom of things and seeing the issue from their perspective.
5. Make an effort to control the volume and tone of your voice.
Be conscious of the tone and volume of your voice. Sometimes, no matter how good your argument might be, it’s not going to matter if your delivery is off. Gain better control of your emotions so that you can control the tone of your voice. You NEVER want to be getting into a shouting match with someone.
Learn to agree to disagree.
Sometimes, no matter how open-minded either of you might be, it’s still possible that the both of you just won’t come to any kind of agreement. It’s possible that neither of you will be able to meet the other halfway. And whenever that happens, you should be fine with it. You should be accepting of the fact that you don’t have the power to persuade everyone you meet. And if you come to a stalemate with your arguments, be mature enough to just acknowledge the differences between the two of you; and try to find a way to coexist. Remember that coexistence doesn’t necessarily mean agreement.