intimacy is a great thing. But that doesn’t mean that you should be doing it every chance that you get. You always have to make sure that the circumstances and the parameters are set just right in order for you o be able to make the most out of a intimate experience.
Otherwise, you’re going to end up feeling really unfulfilled and disappointed. intimacy only really works if you’re doing it for the right reasons. And here are some reasons that should stop you from being intimate with him at all.
1. You don’t REALLY want to do it.
If you’re not entirely sure about wanting to do it – then don’t. You should only ever really engage in intimacy relations with someone if you truly want to do it. Otherwise, you’re just forcing yourself to engage in an activity that isn’t really going to be fulfilling for you or the person you’re doing it with. Don’t cheat yourself of a prime intimate experience.
2. You only want to do it because you think it’s what he expects of you.
Again, you should only really be intimate with him because YOU want to do it – not because you think that it’s what he might want from you. You own your body – so take ownership of it. Don’t let your body be used as someone else’s object for pleasure.
3. He has been really inconsistent in his efforts with you.
Don’t reward bad behavior with intimacy. If you’re going to sleep with him even when he hasn’t been the best boyfriend to you, then you are essentially reinforcing bad behavior. Let him know that if he wants your body, he’s going to have to earn it. Tell him that you’re not happy and that he needs to step up if he expects you to treat him well.
4. You want something serious but he isn’t interested in it.
He just wants something casual. But you want something more. What do you do? Well, there are a million things that you could do – but to sleep with him isn’t one of them. You are only setting yourself up for heartbreak if you think that being intimate with him is going to be your chance to get him to commit to you. It rarely ever works like that. And you shouldn’t be so naïve to believe that something like that would actually work.
5. You just want a casual connection but he really wants to pursue you.
And conversely, you just want to have fun but he wants something more. You shouldn’t be so mean so as to lead him on by being intimate with him. You are getting his hopes up by doing so. And you will be breaking his heart once you blow him off after being intimate with him. You aren’t doing him any favors by being intimate with him even when you’re not willing to go all the way with him. You’re only going to crush his spirits.
6. You feel like he’s starting to get clingy with you.
A clingy guy makes for a very difficult situation especially if you’re not into that sort of thing. It’s very much in for people to be independent and self-sufficient nowadays. Clingy just isn’t cool anymore. And there’s a reason for that. You don’t want someone to be overly dependent on you. And if you be intimate with him, you might be opening the door for him a little more.
7. He has had some romantic history with one of your closest friends.
You just don’t want that kind of drama in your life. You don’t want to be known as that girl who sleeps’ with friends former beaus.
8. He has mentioned to you that he has had plenty of crazy ex girlfriends.
If he has had multiple crazy ex girlfriends in the past, then that is a definite red flag that you can’t just ignore. For one, if it’s true that he has had crazy ex girlfriends, then there is no telling what they’re going to do once they find out that you’re being intimate with him now. But if it turns out that he’s the crazy one in all of those relationships after all, then you really don’t want anything to have to do with that.
9. You are both just really drunk.
Alcohol and intimacy never make good combinations. You aren’t going to have a good night in the sack if your mentally impaired because of alcohol intoxication. And you’re probably not going to remember it anyway, so why bother?
10. He refuses to engage in safe intimacy with you.
If he doesn’t respect your desires to practice safe intimacy, then you shouldn’t be being intimate with him at all. A man should always be respectful of a woman’s needs and wishes – especially when it pertains to intimacy. You shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting him to use a protection. It’s not him who is going to have to deal with a pregnancy if things go wrong anyway. It’s you. It’s your right to refuse him if he doesn’t cooperate. A man who disregards your boundaries is likely to show other signs of disrespect in the relationship. It’s essential to recognize these red flags early, as they can signify a deeper issue that could lead to unhappiness down the line. Trust your instincts; these are the types of behaviors that can lead women to avoid marrying.
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