A lot of us are going to be able to give an answer whenever someone asks us what our “type” is going to be when it comes to romantic partners. We all have a general idea of what we are looking for in a prospective relationship partner. We all know what we’re attracted to and what kinds of personalities are going to complement our own.
And there are different types of “types” as well. Some people will merely resort to physical attributes (i.e. blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled jaw, strong arms, etc.) and others will go a little deeper; they will start to talk about real personality traits (i.e. kindness, patience, generosity, intelligence, etc.). And there really isn’t any set “type” for all of the people in the world. We all want what we want and nobody else can ever define what our wants are for us.
But what happens when your “type” just happens to be the person who is just downright bad and toxic for you? And what if you continually find yourself falling for the same kind of toxic human being over and over again only to end up having your heart broken? Why is that the case? Are you doomed to just keep on falling with people who are only going to end up hurting you? Or is there something you can do to stop this vicious cycle that you seem to be stuck in?
Well, the first thing that you have to do is figure out why you keep falling for the wrong person over and over again – and once you gain a better understanding of the situation, then you can actually start exploring solutions to help get you out of this pickle.
1. Your idea of dealing with boredom is finding drama.
Drama is not a productive way to deal with boredom. You are only bringing more unnecessary stress and destruction into your already volatile life. You don’t want that kind of emotional trauma for yourself.
2. You love it whenever you feel needed by someone else.
It’s nice to feel needed, yes. But you can’t let that desire to be needed drive you into the arms of people who are virtually incapable of taking care of themselves.
3. You often invalidate your own feelings and emotions.
Give rise to your feelings and emotions. Just because you find partners who make you feel like your feelings irrelevant doesn’t mean that they are. You should always give rise to your emotions. They are just as valid as anyone else’s.
4. You don’t stay single for too long to grow and gather perspective.
Stop jumping from relationship to relationship without taking the time to reflect in between breakups. Learn from your mistakes. Grow from your failed romances.
5. You have very low standards.
Learn to raise your standards. Stop settling for terrible partners. You are an amazing human being and you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and care in a real romantic relationship.
6. You believe that love can change a person.
Yes, love can change a person. But that doesn’t mean that your love is going to be able to change another person. You can’t keep taking your chances on love. Sometimes, you just need to find someone who is already well-put together.
7. You are attracted to the idea of a challenge.
Love is always going to be a challenge – so it’s pointless to make it any more of a challenge than it already is. Why try to make things harder for yourself? Find a love that doesn’t have to be such a struggle all of the time.
8. You have serious commitment issues.
Sometimes, your own fear of commitment will lead you to selecting people who are just bad for you so that you have an excuse not to commit to them.
9. You think too lowly of yourself.
Love yourself. Focus on all of the amazing aspects of your personality – and convince yourself that you are deserving of an amazing love.
10. You aren’t comfortable with being on your own.
You really have to learn to be more comfortable with being on your own. You can’t keep on trying to find a sense of fulfilment and completion in other people. You have to learn to embrace your solitude and independence.
11. What you can do to fix things:
You just really have to learn to be more comfortable with yourself. Learn to accept your fears of being single so that you can develop the resolve that you need to conquer these fears. You keep falling into bad relationships because you don’t know your own worth.
You keep allowing yourself to be treated terribly. You have to be able to put your foot down. And that all starts with being able to love yourself; being able to say that you are deserving of the best things that life has to offer – and that you’re not going to settle for anything less than the love that you think you deserve.
Talk to me
Has this happened to you? Talk to me in the comments below!