When you are in an intimate relationship with a person, you are always going to want to be affectionate and loving to a certain extent. However, as the old adage goes, it’s always possible to have too much of a good thing. If you overdo your expressions of affection in your relationship – especially if it’s a young one, then you risk suffocating your partner with all of your feelings.
In the earlier aspects of a relationship, there is a definite spike in the feelings and emotions that you have. You are always so excited and ecstatic about how everything is going between the two of you. It’s during this stage where you would never want to miss out on any opportunity to just actually manifest the feelings that you have for one another. And you can give in to that temptation to always be showing your love for your partner. But you should know that excessively doing so could potentially destroy your relationship.
The amount of affection that a partner needs to show purely depends on the needs of the partner in the relationship. There are some people who will want to constantly be coddled. There are those who find such mushiness really corny, and they wouldn’t want too much of it. If you find that you have a partner who constantly needs admiration, then you should be able to give that to them.
But if your partner is someone who is going to get suffocated by excessive flirting and admiration, then you really need to know your limits. You also have to be able to read your partner’s mood. Sometimes, they won’t be so receptive of your admiration when they’re dealing with stress.
If you are a very expressive and affectionate person, you shouldn’t necessarily see that as a bad thing though. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. For instance, you might be fond of using physical touch to express your affections. However, if your partner is someone who likes to feel love through words of affection, then the physical touching might be lost on them. In fact, they might even find it irritating.
In a few situations, your partner might completely reject your expression of love and they will be trying their best to hide their irritation. Yes, it is hurtful because of how dismissive and unappreciative they are. After all, you are only trying to tell them that you love them. However, you should also be willing to give them that space if you don’t want to lose them completely.
The best thing that you can do as a couple when you are caught in a position like this is for you to just talk to one another. Engage in clear and effective communication with each other. You should always be making sure that the two of you are on the same page when it comes to your love language. You both want to be making sure that you aren’t really wasting your gestures and your words of affection on one another. At the end of the day, there are very little issues in the world that healthy communication wouldn’t be able to fix.
A recent study has shown that couples who are excessively affectionate in the early aspects of a relationship are more likely to break up in the long run. Too much affection can lead to two people having unrealistic goals and expectations about their relationship. And because these goals and expectations are unrealistic, they are only setting themselves up for eventual failure. Plus, when there is a failure in a relationship, there is a disappointment. And it can be very hard to sustain a relationship you are constantly feeling disappointed in.
Reality very seldom ever matches your expectations. And that’s why it’s always important that the two of you are able to manage your expectations accordingly. You can’t possibly stay in a relationship that is causing you so much dissatisfaction and disappointed. Having unmet expectations can breed contempt and bitterness between two people.
Yes, it’s normal for the two of you to go through some kind of honeymoon period in your relationship. It happens to all couples. However, gradually, your honeymoon period is going to come to a close. And when it does, you’re going to have to learn to face the realities of each other’s personalities. You can’t be trying to extend the honeymoon period where the two of you are so lovey and mushy all of the time. Learn to confront the ugly aspects of your relationship because they need addressing as well.
At the end of the day, affection isn’t really the only thing that makes your relationship. And you shouldn’t be compensating with affection by disregarding the other aspect of it.
