When you were growing up, did you ever get stressed out because of how strict your parents were? Have you ever found yourself feeling frustrated by not being allowed to do things that you really wanted to do just because your parents were too strict? Well, if you’re a parent now, you might understand why your parents were really strict with you in the past – especially when you’re the same way with your kids as well. But should you really be proud of being a strict parent? Should you really be ashamed? Is there even a difference? Well, of course, you would want to parent your child to the best of your abilities. You always want what is best for you kids after all. But how do you know if what you’re doing is actually helping your kid or not?
Well, recent studies by leading scientists have found that being a stricter parent could actually prove to be beneficial for your child in the long run. Here are the ins and outs of it all:
What does it mean to have a “better” kid? And does stricter parenting really lead to having a better life for your children in the long run? Well, a recent study conducted by the Institute of Social and Economic Research, University of Essex professor Ericka Racson-Ramirez has something to say about the matter:
“The measure of the expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of access to higher education declared by the majority of parents, in most cases of the mother.”
Racson-Ramirez conducted a study spanning over 6 years with over 15,000 schoolgirls aged thirteen and fourteen. She found during this study that the girls who had stricter parents tended to be more sure about who they were. They exuded more confidence, and they had very strong senses of self-esteem. These girls were also found to be emotionally mature and independent. These girls were also less likely to have unwanted pregnancies in their teenage years. Because of these findings, kids from families with strict parenting styles were more likely to have easier accesses to colleges, higher chances of finishing university, finding jobs, and finding success in life in general.
In a lot of cases when we were growing up, we would always try to find ways to do the things that we found to be more convenient for us; or the things that would bring us most pleasure and joy even when these involved breaking the rules and wishes set by our parents. However, no matter how hard we might have tried to bend the rules as kids, the way our parents looked after us while we were growing up served as a significant influence on all of us whether we realize it or not. A lot of times, the effects and influences of a parent are more subtle, nuanced, and discreet. They aren’t always going to be so blatant and obvious, but they’re definitely going to be significant.
In summary, having a healthy balance of parental pressure in a family setting can really drive and lead your child on the right path in life. It can really improve the chances of your child to eventually find happiness, success, and contentment in the future.
But when are you too strict as a parent? Is it even possible to be excessively strict with your child? Is being strict is such a good thing, then why not go all the way with it?
You might have pondered on this question in the past even before reading this article. You want to make sure that you are able to structure your child’s life, but you also want them to like you and see you as someone they can always rely on. But how do you strike that balance? How strict should you be as a parent to the point that you are able to guide them properly without making them hate you for it?
Well, this is what science suggests: if you are too strict of a parent, it could develop traits of dishonesty and deceit in your child. They will feel compelled to lie to you instead of coming clean with you about the truth because they will be too afraid of the repercussions. If you are excessive with your discipline, it might make your child feel unsafe about opening up to you about what’s really on their minds; and that can prove to be very destructive and toxic in the long run.
But if you can’t be too strict, then how do you limit yourself?
Try being an authoritative parent without being a limiting one. You can establish a sense of structure and order within the family environment without letting it be too constricting and suffocating. Always communicate with your kids and make them feel safe about expressing themselves. Make sure they understand why you are parenting them in such a manner and always make them feel loved no matter what.