Sometimes, a breakup is inevitable. No matter how much you tell yourself that you love your partner, the circumstances refuse to allow you to keep on loving them. In no way is this article telling you to get back together with your cheating, lying or abusive ex because the furthest thing from your mind is to even consider allowing them back into your life let alone actually ‘win’ them back.
This article is directed to all of those people who lost their partners because of reasons such as conflicting time schedules or misunderstandings. Basically, things that weren’t in your control at that time but now, they are manageable and you regret breaking up.
Here are some of the do’s and don’ts of getting back together with your ex. Sometimes, what we think might be helping, actually is only pushing our ex farther and further away.
1. Give them space:
The most crucial thing to do after a breakup is to give your partner their space. Sometimes, you only realise how much you loved someone after you’ve lost them. It worked for you and you’re here reading this now. If you have faith in the relationship and believe that the breakup was untimely and/or uncalled for.
You believe that it was something done in the heat of the moment and neither one of you was thinking straight but now, after you gotВ some space, you’ve realised that and are starting to regret breaking up.
Your ex needs the same space. They need to accept what you’ve accepted, by themselves, and not because you’re constantly calling or texting them. If you think that by texting or calling them you’ll only be conveying to them how both of you were wrong to breakup then trust me you’ll never get them back. Let them arrive to the same conclusion themselves.
2. Think about why you two broke up in the first place.
Put all of this space that you’re getting to good use and think of all the factors which lead to the breakup. It might have been in the heat of the moment but were there other things you disregarded back then and can only thoroughly think about now?
Find out who instigated the breakup and what for. Is it your fault or theirs? Take this time to assure yourself whether you want to get back together with your ex or not.
3. Think carefully about what you’re going to say.
So now that you’re sure that you want to get your ex back, think of what you’re going to tell them. I mentioned above that you two need some space and the second you arrive to the conclusion that you two must absolutely get back together, that’s when you text or call them.
It’s natural to have some regret after the breakup because no one enters a relationship thinking that it’ll end one day. After the first two steps and assuring yourself that getting back together is indeed the right thing to do, think about what you’re going to tell them.
Don’t start off too dramatic or too mysterious with a ‘we need to talk’ text. Start off pretty casually and then gradually work your way up to it. Never jump right to it and never act like you’ve suddenly realised the errors of your ways. Talk them, act normal, apologise if you’ve done something you regret. If possible, arrange to meet personally to talk.
4. Be the person they fell in love with.
You’ll be telling yourself that if they don’t deserve you at your worst, they certainly don’t deserve you at your best. Okay, that’s understandable but might not be rational in certain situations. Are you really the same person they fell in love with? Bad days come in every relationship and I’m not really talking about them now.
I’m talking about all the other ways you’ve changed. For example; did you expect them to be a certain way and do certain things for you but the second they don’t want to anymore, you flip out. There are many other ways you could have been unconsciously destroying your own relationship.
Be the person whom they fell in love with and that is actually the same person you know you should be in your heart to get your ex back.
5. Listen to them.
There’s a difference between hearing what comes out of their mouth and actually listening to what they have to say. You need to accept that your ex will have some concerns because of the first breakup as will you and it’s natural to talk about it when you two are getting back together. This time, however, you have to actually listen to whatever their concerns are.
At the end of the day, you have to tell yourself whether they’re worth it or not or whether there’s still a chance or not.
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Do you think these suggestions will help you to re-invigorate your debilitating relationship? Have you done it? Did it work and are you happy with them now? Let me know in the comments down below! The top comment will get a chance to win our exclusive RR merchandise.