Have you ever broken up with someone who you were still desperately in love with? If you say yes, then you probably know just how difficult it is to recover from such an emotional experience. There are so many emotional layers to a breakup and you don’t necessarily always know how to make sense of everything. You have to process so many emotions even when you’re not necessarily comfortable with doing so.
You deal with the pain that you feel inside that comes with losing your partner in the first place. You got so used to having them around and you grew attached to them. It always hurts whenever you have to just take a step away from it all.
Then you are left to process everything that has just happened. You try to find closure on the matter and the only way you know to do that is to think about what went wrong. You so desperately want the answers to the many questions that you have surrounding your relationship.
And lastly, you know that you eventually have to move on. You know that you have to be able to get to a place in your life where you actually feel okay. You know that you eventually have to come to terms with the fact that the two of you are just never going to be together.
But that’s just a lot easier said than done. It’s not easy to move on from a breakup. This is especially true for a lot of people who still have lingering feelings about their exes. And you might find yourself in that position as well. You know that you want to move on and be okay. But you also know that you don’t want to block yourself off from the opportunity of just getting back together with your ex someday.
If that situation applies to you, then you have a lot of thinking to do. Naturally, this isn’t a decision that you would want to make in haste. You always want to make sure that you are keeping your composure. You want to make sure that you still have your senses intact and you’re not letting your emotions lead the way. Here are a few things that you might want to think about before you actually decide on getting back together with your ex:
1. Why did you break up in the first place?
Make sure you understand why you broke up in the first place. Once you get to the root of those problems, then you have a better shot at making things work the next time around.
2. How long has it been since the breakup?
If you’ve only just broken up, then you need to be able to create some space and distance for a bit. You need to separate yourselves from one another for a while. You can’t be looking to jump right back into it knowing that the wounds are probably still fresh.
3. How did you end things between the two of you?
It’s a lot easier to try again on a relationship if the initial breakup was clean and amicable. It’s going to be a lot harder to restart that relationship if the breakup was rather dirty and toxic.
4. What happened after the breakup?
It’s not just important that you assess the way that you broke up with one another. You also have to assess what has taken place since you broke up. Did you do anything that hurt your partner after you broke up? Did you make any changes to your lifestyle that broke your relationship in the first place?
5. How attached are you to one another?
Naturally, there is a certain level of detachment that takes place whenever someone decides to move on from a breakup. And if your partner has somewhat detached themselves from you already, then it might not be wise to try your hand at starting things up again.
6. Are you able to forgive each other for your faults?
You might have had some ill feelings for one another after your breakup. It’s very important that you are able to forgive one another before you actually decide to rekindle that flame.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Naturally, it’s never easy when you have to walk away from someone you love. But it’s even more difficult when you try to start things up again with someone you have already failed within the past.
At the end of the day, you’re still going to have to judge whether someone is going to be worth the effort or not. Because that is truly what love is all about anyway.
Love is never designed to be easy. You have to always work hard at it regardless if the two of you have a history or not. And the moment that you fail to give that effort, then the entire relationship as a whole is compromised.
