Some Signs that Are You Being Unfair In a relationship?
Almost every article that has ever been written with a relationship tag is somehow always a generalisation based on stereotypical analysis:
‘All men are the same’.
‘All women are needy’.
‘All men cheat’.
‘All women over react’.
How has Society messed up our Thought Process?
The truth is that we’re all human and we all have our flaws (some bigger than the others) but flaws aren’t limited to one specific gender. You can’t just always expect there to be someone to tell you that your boyfriend is being insensitive or that he needs to express his love to you more often. Let’s face it, some people are oblivious and some people are more reserved than others. Similarly, you can’t think that she’s overreacting all the time because she gets emotional too easily. Maybe the situation really is as she’s describing it.
I honestly don’t believe that a relationship can work if you base it on generalisation. He doesn’t have to work; she doesn’t have to stay home. Do what you want to do.
Society might expect there to be gender-specific roles and no matter what you think, some things are gender specific but not stuff like cooking or cleaning.
1. You’re doing it and you’re not even aware of it
How are YOU being unfair to your partner? The truth is that it’s sometimes done unconsciously and you might not even really mean it but because of the mindset that you’ve developed because of everything around you, you are being unfair without being aware of it.
Now because of this generalisation, we become extremely defensive when something is considered to be against the norm. For example; on a video of people caught cheating, besides commenting on how CHEATERS are bad people, everyone pointed out the fact that most of the cheaters in the video were women. Since this is different than the ‘all men cheat’ stereotypical idea, everyone got really defensive and completely missed the point.
2. Rise Above the stereotypes!
Do you ever feel like your partner should be the one to apologise first regardless of who started the fight because they should be more considerate of your feelings? This is completely okay but if the reason why you think they should be more considerate is because the topic of your heated argument was something that your gender is usually sensitive with.
Pink isn’t always for girls and blue isn’t always for boys. You need to change yourself before you blame someone else for stereotyping you.
3. Know What Feminism Truly Is
Another thing that I’ve seen happen quite often is that some people blame it all on feminism. Feminism is about equality. The same case applies with "menism" (yes, it’s real). Just because she wants to participate in a more male-dominated activity doesn’t make her any less of a woman and just because he wants to talk about his feelings doesn’t make him any less of a man. The mere fact that we believe it is because of our generalisation! *drops mic*
4. Moderate Expectations
We should lower our expectations in certain matters. Our partner is only human and there are times when they need some alone time and space. We shouldn’t consider it as betrayal and become that really clingy person who becomes annoying with time.
At the start of a relationship, it may seem fine but as the relationship progresses you need to understand that even though your partner is deeply in love with you, he does have activities outside of the relationship. He certainly doesn’t mention them because he is considerate but you should be astute enough to give him time to socialise because he surely deserves that.
5. Gender Roles
Society has assigned roles to men and women since olden times. Women should be more inclined to do house work and focus on the children more instead of being independent. Men should provide the financial assets to put food on the table for the whole family. These stereotypes are still prevalent in many countries. Please! Get your head out of this bigotry. Let your spouses and partners discover what they want, indulge in activities they like, permit them jobs they are interested in. If you give them freedom, then they’ll be more attracted towards you. A tyrant can never make himself loved due to oppression. Do not be a tyrant, be the preacher of freedom. Only Love can unchain you from your insecurities.
So the next time you think that something belongs only to one gender, ask yourself this: would you like it if someone were to just categorically put you according to your gender? Be honest about it too, you can’t expect him to make a baby but you can expect him to understand that it’s freaking hard. Similarly, you can’t expect her to be a baby making machine either. You need to be considerate of each other’s feelings too. If she’s being hysterical, it isn’t because she’s a girl, if he doesn’t want to have ‘this conversation’, it isn’t because he’s a guy.
Talk to me
Do you want to be generalised? Or do you want to make people feel free? Let me know in the comments below!