Stop blaming yourself and start smiling.
You’ve spent most of your life with your head down, with your heart not knowing where to go. You wander aimlessly as you try to process all the accumulated feelings of heartache and disappointment. You are still beating yourself on the head over the fact that you couldn’t make your previous relationship work out. You are still harboring so many emotions within the realm of sadness, it has managed to consume your entire soul. You know that there’s something lacking in your life, and you try to fit so many things into the voids of your spirit, but you can’t ever seem to wrap your heart around anything that is meaningful or fulfilling to you. There are cracks around your heart that you’re trying to feel with temporary highs but they never last as long as you wish that they would.
How many nights have you just drowned your pillow with your own tears? How many nights have you just lost sleep over trying to figure out the things that you possibly could have done better to save the relationship? During these vulnerable moments, you convince yourself of thinking that you’re actually not worthy of love. You tell yourself that you just aren’t good enough to be in a relationship with anyone. You tell yourself that you’re probably never going to find that one person who will be able to make you believe in love. But you’re wrong. You’re lying to yourself when you think that way.
The universe works in mysterious ways sometimes, in ways that are beyond our own persona comprehensions. Sometimes, the things that we think we really need are things that we can really do without. Sometimes, the opportunities that we feel we are being deprived of are the ones we’re not really meant for at all. And sometimes, when we least expect it, the universe gives us everything we ever needed even when we didn’t know we needed those things in the first place. We just have to be able to put our trust in the universe and in ourselves. We can’t go around thinking that we always know what is best for us because sometimes, our feelings and personal biases can blind us from the things we really need in life.
We are all human beings and we are imperfect. We make the wrong decisions at times and we have to take these unfortunate times of weakness as learning experiences. We have to be able to take the difficult moments of our lives and turn them into something positive. We’re going to screw up in ways that will bring us pain and that pain is going to be a result of our own doing. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make us any less deserving of love. That doesn’t make us any less human. In fact, it makes us more human. Our brokenness is what proves our humanity. Our brokenness is what makes us even more beautiful because nothing is more beautiful than having the potential to be better. You should never allow yourself to think that you are undeserving of the love that you so desperately see. You are going to find that love eventually. It’s just that there are some necessary detours that you need to take along the way.
It may not come right away. It might take a few days, weeks, months, years, or maybe even decades. But that doesn’t mean that you should lose hope. Remember that the best things in life are always worth waiting and fighting for. Nothing worth having in this life ever comes easily. It might be a slow process that will leave you wanting to pull all your hair out. Or it might also be so instantaneous and immediate that it would potentially overwhelm you. Either way, you’re going to meet the love of your life someday and this is the person who is going to make you feel like life is actually worth struggling for.
It may come when you’re deep in anticipation. But it may also come when you’re not even expecting it. The point is that it’s going to come and when it does, you will know for sure. Love is going to be able to cast all doubt from your mind. Love is going to be able to fill in all the little creases and cracks in your heart. Love is going to shine a light in the darkest parts of your soul. Love is going to add color to your eyes and fullness to your spirit. Love is going to get your blood flowing. It’s going to make food taste better. It will make everything feel so much more precious and fleeting than ever before. Someday, love is going to come for you. And it’s going to be the best thing you will ever have experienced.
