It’s been quite a while already since the two of you broke up. Of course, it wasn’t an easy decision for you to end things with him. but you knew that it was something you had to do for the sake of your own well-being. You knew you needed to break up with him to protect yourself. And you might even be opening yourself up to dating someone new at this point. But then, your ex starts to slowly creep back into your life; and he’s brought all of those old demons back with him as well.

And that’s the kind of situation that a lot of women tend to find themselves in. You could break up with an emotionally manipulative man even after you’ve been together for the longest time. You could have caught him cheating on you with someone else. Maybe he hit you. Perhaps you realized that he was just a loser who was using you for your money. Whatever the case, you decided to cut the cord. You decided to burn that bridge. You knew that you were being put through so much pain, and it was the right thing for you walk away from that situation entirely. And you realized that you were now getting into a much better situation. You realized that the wounds were starting to heal and all the bad memories were starting to fade away.

But then, he shows up one day out of the blue. Maybe you run into him as you’re strolling down the street on your way to work. Maybe the two of you just happen to fall into the same line at a local coffee shop. Perhaps you run into each other on the subway as you’re making your way home. Whatever the case, he suddenly shows up in your life again; and you are left feeling shaken by it all. But here’s what the real bombshell is: he talks to you and he tells you something that you didn’t want and didn’t expect to hear. He tells you that he isn’t over you and that he wants you back. He tells you that he has been through quite a lot and that he’s a different person now. He tells you that he’s changed and that he’s a different guy from the one you were in a relationship with. He asks you if he can meet you again so that you can try to hash things out.

It feels like the universe is throwing a curve ball your way. It’s like fate is trying to test you. You are bombarded with so many questions that you don’t know the answer to. And you’re desperate to come to a decision because your mind just can’t stop racing at this point. Should you really be giving him another chance? Should you just be walking away instead?

You might be feeling remorseful right now. You might be having doubts about your situation. You might think that you’ve actually made the wrong decision and that you need to go back to your partner after all. But here’s the thing: if the past comes back to call you up, just don’t answer. You’re not going to learn anything new from it. Here are a few reasons as to why it isn’t really a good idea to get back into a relationship with someone who harmed and abused you in a significant manner.

1. There was a reason you let this person go in the first place.

And the reasons are probably still there. The reasons for you to just ignore your ex vastly outweigh the reasons for you to give him another chance. Just stay put. Find joy and meaning in your own life. There is no reason for you to go back to a terrible situation.

2. They probably haven’t changed.

There is no proof to indicate that they have changed at all in their life. Why take their word for it?

3. They have betrayed your trust already in the past.

They fooled you once already; would you really want to give them an opportunity to fool her again?

4. You just might be feeling lonely.

You just might be feeling lonely at the moment and that’s why you’re entertaining the idea of getting back to him. Fight that urge. You are able to find happiness and fulfillment on your own. You don’t need to be with him to feel a sense of happiness.

5. They never wanted to commit to you.

If they had wanted to commit to you at all, then they never would have let you go in the first place.

6. True love is out there. You just need to be patient.

You just might be desperate for love. But you can’t let your desperation get the best of you. You can’t let your desperation drive you back into the arms of this horrible individual who never knew how to treat you right. Just trust that you’re eventually going to find love for yourself, and you’re never going to be able to find love if you keep getting caught up in what isn’t meant for you.

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